Naija Week 19

Howdy Y'all?

Here's Week 19!

Happy Reading!

1. I went out over the weekend and got caught up in road closures because 'Obj' was coming to or going through the Island. Na wa o! Then I began to wonder if that is how they close up all the roads in jand when good ol' Tony is passing through!

2. Wanted to replace my broken wheel spanner and was amazed at the different versions of wheel spanner that were presented to us. It was shocking - Original, Fake, Tokunbo, Local make et al. Just had to make a choice eventually - God help us in the hour of usage need!

3. Does anyone still remember Allenburys Glucose D, Iodine, Dr Brown Sanitary Towel (you won't believe that it is still in that gross looking coloured packaging!

4. Can you believe that on a very bad network day, if you send out text messages in Las Giddy, it may come back undelivered after 3/4 days. So, lesson number 1 - never assume your recipient has received the text message; be mindful before you start to accuse them of not responding!

5. Met a lady who'd finally decided to stay in Las Giddy after absconding back to jand thrice in the past. This time around she plugged her daughter into school and made some other financial commitments so that when the going gets tough she will stick it through! I'm applauding myself here o!

6. I've succeeded in visiting a 'Bukka' without any 'repercussions'! Hurray! But then that can only mean one thing - I'm becoming (but not become truly 100%) Nigerianised!

7. I went to the saloon for a well deserved manicure and pedicure and almost had the cuticle / skin on my big toe slashed off! The pedicurist couldn't even offer an apology after the incidence. It wasn't until her 'Oga' intervened a few times and I commented because I was in pain and also irked! For this, she got some 'Igbaruns' from her Oga because by now she was also now very embarrased by the whole saga!

You will think the episode will catch me a free deal but nay! Full pay was collected o, even after my poor toe continued to bleed for over an hour! Ha, I miss jand and its compensation culture!

8. I finally and truly found 'imported' Ribena, since I arrived here in Las Giddy! The price quoted sent me reeling in anger; I ran away from the shop. The price for the 2litre bottle I saw is the price you would pay for the 5litre bottle in jand. I couldn't see myself paying that price so I'm still Ribena-less; perhaps maybe one day soon enough, I will stop the # and Naira conversion; shame my brain is still on reflex on this conversion matter!

9. Day 91 - my car was hit on the side I was sat by a danfo driver. Luckily, the door wasn't really affected and I was unaffected too! The danfo however felt the impact more! I gave the driver a tongue-lashing!

10. Still on day 91 - I got home and there was no water neither was there electricity. As matter of fact there's hasn't been electricity supply for four days in a row now even up to the time of this writing. Anyway, luckily I had a bucket semi filled with water so I had a good ol' shower leaving just a bit left.

11. Day 92 - Picture this! I awoke thinking those essential supplies would have been back on but alas there was still no water or light and I had to go to work! Thank God o sey I go boarding school - never thought those boarding school skills where ever going to be needed in modern day life. Na so I wake up and I wan use toilet and clean my body too but water no dey. Na so I use only two bowls of water take my bath and use toliet with no water to flush. I tell you Lagos is humbling!

After I almost finished work for the day, na im my Oga come tell me say dey wan me to come dinner with some of our strategic partners wey don come town. I tell my Oga say I no wan go bcos dey tell me very late; I come even tell am say I no bath come work bcos water no dey for house. Dey just laff at me sha.

Anyway, I enjoyed the dinner well, well! Na Pearl Garden we go. There were 11 men to just 1 lady (moi) at the table for the greater part of the evening until another lady joined us. When they asked me if I was intimidated by the number of men around the table, I said to them that I was absolutely not intimidated by their numbers! Na so so, money, money and dollar, dollar we talk about all evening. Dis people sef, dats all dey know!

12. Day 93 & 94 - Let me gloat abit here jare! Was taken to lunch by some friends - one to Yellow Chillies and the other to a place where I had a great pounded yam and efo egusi session - unfortunately didn't catch the name of the restaurant!

13. Day 94 - Saw a man with an extended chin, the extension was like the size of a baby's head. The irony of this scene was that he wasn't begging but trekking along with three other people chatting away and minding their own business! Except of course he was on his way to his favourite spot! In the same vain, I've seen some human deformities that I can't begin to explain or describe - saw a man on Day 95 whose skin was worse than an Albino with a missing eye socket; saw another shortly after whose skin had been touched up by fire! I've wondered how these people incurred such injuries and deformities - just so shocking, it makes you grateful to God.

14. Day 95 - Had police trouble today! Went for funeral and was going in an entourage. As the others made a U-turn, we did just the same only for the police to stop the car saying we'd just taking a wrong turn. Meanwhile, they'd allow the others to go without stopping anyone except us - perhaps because I didn't look dressed for a funeral. On pointing out the sign, there's no way anyone would have noticed the sign except you know the area very well. The sign had been bleached by rain - seemed like the sign had been there since the days of President Murtala M!

Anyway, after talking and much talking all sorts, they requested for the drivers licence. Eventually he succumbed to it. The policeman now left the car, with the driver tagging behind him. Prior to this, the policeman had asked indirectly for a bribe (called it a fine), when I offered him what I was willing to give, he reckoned it was little. The painful thing for me about the whole saga was that my car was just stopped to 'jeun / chop' - they'd literally passed the other cars; more importantly, I'd completely missed a chunk of the ceremony I wanted to attended.

I had to drive off myself leaving the driver there, to see whether I could redeem what was left of the ceremony. Later I came back for the driver, whose licence was eventually released after the officer that took it initially decided to go AWOL on another 'duty'! Frustrating! Got back to the office at 4pm, with my shirt and face looking very harrassed and filthy!

Thats all folks for this week. Do keep the comments coming to the blog site, spread the site details and even the emails!

Have a pleasant weekend!

Thanks again for your readership, its kinda making life bearable for me in Las Giddy!

Always & Always,

Lola (Real Life Content)