Hello Y’All,
Howdy? Hope you are enjoying the cold or heat as the case may be for some of us! Just thought to give a different spinner to my blog this month! Hope you find my version of the differences exhilarating!
Happy Reading!
Racism
9ja: To get accommodation if you are from certain parts of the country na wahala!
Jand: To get certain jobs na wahala!
Business Owner
9ja: Go do work, to get your money na real yawa!
Jand: At least for jand, dem go stick to terms and conditions!
Fashion
9ja: 9ja babes dress to kill (at least most of dem – remember Jenifa – Sulia kan, Aiyetoro kan!)
Jand: Jand peeps no beat dem o!
Credit Style
9ja: Na empty vessels they make the most noise!
Jand: Same, same! No get plenty choice without credit!
Poverty
9ja: Mental and material poverty na im plenty pass!
Jand: I no know for dis wan!
Bribery
9ja: Dey for open kampe!
Jand: Sure say e dey happen but no be for open like our own – na so so sleaze tory you go just dey hear for news!
Population
9ja: Government no know how many people im get; how many people they die or how many pickin people dey come born/born for 9ja everyday! Anyone dey come 9ja born pickin?
Jand: Number control & measurement dey! Na so so jand everyone wan born dem pikin!
Passport
9ja: Green na ‘Red’ for ‘Stop’ at PP Control!
Jand: Red na ‘Green’ for ‘Go’ at PP Control!
Property
9ja: Mostly, if e dey for ground, na you get am!
Jand: Dis wan go take 25 years!
Rent
9ja: Chei! At landlord’s mercy!
Jand: Chei! At tenants mercy!
Airports
9ja: Arrival dims your expectations!
Jand: Arrival brightens your expectations!
Christianity
9ja: Hard to practice here! You remember the need for Jesus every millisecond!
Jand: Sheltered Christianity! You remember the need for Jesus maybe every other minute!
Integrity
9ja: Fou, fou, fou, foul! We get special dico – dat word no dey inside! Yes means Yes, Yes, then No!
Jand: Wat you see, no be wat you go get! Yes means Yes but ….
Germ transfer
9ja: You no go know the source and how far dat person hand / person don travel!
Jand: At least, you go no say na either from windowless office or from the tube!
Weather
9ja: Nice and warm! Go blacken you; go melt ya blood!
Jand: Cold and blunt! Go freshen you; go freeze ya blood!
Quality
9ja: You go see sumtin and no go know if na fake!
Jand: You go see sumtin and go know if na fake!
Respect
9ja: Las Giddy rats go see you and na you go run!
Jand: Jand rats go see you and na dem go run comot!
Egg
9ja: If egg don yama, you go know quick, quick!
Jand: With expiry date, e still no go be obvious!
Storage
9ja: Can buy and store as much petrol as you can! Me alone get 50-litres for house! God have mercy o!
Jand: No be only 1-litre jerry can you fit buy petrol for immediate car consumption?
Slang
9ja: ‘A couple of days’ means a few weeks / months even!
Jand: ‘A couple of days’ means just that – 2days!
Phone
9ja: Phone tones/messages are meaningless - several interpretations: ya fone don miss; ya number don miss; network no dey; fone dey off; battery don die; network congestion; make I go on with the list?
Jand: Phones tones/messages are meaningful! ‘The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable’ means just that!
Colour
9ja: Most widely worn is black! In the heat, I no know who advise dem!
Jand: Na black too, but at least I can understand a bit sha – naturally dull people!
Cheesiness
9ja: E rare make man no get cheesy feet for 9ja – socks and shoes in heat all day! If no be im feet, na im armpit (vest, shirt, suit and tie all day long!) or just general BO or MO!
Jand: No sure which wan pass which! Plenty people no dey baff for jand!
Temperature Control
9ja: You need coolants!
Jand: You need heaters!
Stealing
9ja: If you leave bag for car, you go come meet am; but car for don miss sha!
Jand: If you leave bag for car, you fit come meet car but bag go don ‘sappear’!
Opportunities
9ja: One-chance dey happen for bus! If you no know wetin one-chance be, go find out o!
Jand: Dey happen too, na method differ; people dey fear to enter bus!
Faith
9ja: Defined as things hoped for, seen, tested and received!
Jand: Defined as things un-hoped for, seen, then check ya balance!
Monetary
9ja: Everytin na in millions and billions!
Jand: When last did you see or have a #50 note?
Cars
9ja: So many powerful cars around, na bad roads dey hinder dem!
Jand: Here, na speed cameras and fines dey hinder dem!
Thanks for reading!
Remember to please pass it on to your friends and make your comments know here at the blog site!
Till the next time, take care! Look out for my next blog episode on ‘Kiss Of Life’!
Always,
Moi (Still keeping it real in Las Giddy!)
