Hello Everyone,
Trust you are all blooming marvellous and have enjoyed the 1st quarter of the year! Well, if you haven’t, there’s still 9 months left for you to do something about it. Please be encouraged and don’t lose hope.
It is well with you.
Here’s another tale from our very own ‘Las Giddy’!
1. Picture this: After arriving from a much deserved, welcomed and ‘begged for’ break, I got a most welcoming present!
A friend came round and so I went out to open the gate. As I did, I saw a wriggly thing wriggling away from the door. I thought it was a worm but felt it was quite hot for a worm to be out and about. As I was still pondering, a red-neck lizard came and chopped de tin!
I returned to the entrance door with my friend following but no sooner had we stepped in, I just saw a tail-less snake-lizard in the hallway. I freaked out and was just shaken by its sight. Luckily, my friend was around to help chase it out. Phew!
You know we grew up hearing tales that it turns into a snake! But my people, is that really true; habi na me just dey fear fear? Perhaps the truth on this one will set me free! Hmmmmm!
2. So, a day after the event just narrated above, I was recounting the incidence to my neighbour when she cut me half-way that at least it was just a snake lizard I saw. Apparently, a few days before then, a venomous snake had been found in our very own compound and killed. Thankfully, it was spotted during the daytime as my neighbour attempted re-fuelling his generator. What if it was night-time, which is often not uncommon to re-fuel then? What if their children where out and about? In fact, the what-ifs are plenteous!
Thank God for his mercies as always!
3. Saw a life-less body during a visit to the Island; evidence of convulsion was still around him! 3rd body in 3years! The sad thing is that people around just went about their normal businesses without paying much attention to the dead Okada man nearby. For all we know, he may have been alive for a while and could have been saved, if attended to promptly.
I’ve been told severally, it’s a regular sight and people have just gotten accustomed to it.
Na wa o! I could still remember my 1st sight and how I was so shaken and was crying and the cab man was wondering whether I was going ‘kolo’ or something! Chei, 9ja don harden most people o!
4. Was plagued with Malaria and Typhoid fever at the same time but God came through for me! This was despite carrying my water everywhere I went (and still do) and living in a house that is mosquito-free! Yes, mosquito-free!
Just wondered how I became a victim to the illnesses. One thought was that it may have been through my constant eating-out.
My theory is that it may have been from the ‘Iya Alakara’ selling ‘Akara’ by the office. Its one of those places, I’d always believed the day I see the environment where the ‘Akara’ is being fried, that will be the day eating it will stop! Don’t mind me o, eating that ‘Akara’ as advised, was my attempt at building my immunity to the 9ja system!
5. I used up 500g of baby powder in 12 months! Na soso heat here!
6. For the 1st time as far as I can recollect, I made corned-beef stew that lasted 1 week in the freezer! Hurray, Nepa has surely improved over the last few weeks!
7. Picture this: NYSC Scene! People had mobile or should I say portable loos! In the hostel, ladies quickly devised their loo modus operandi. In the morning, you will just see ladies carrying their mini buckets with lids enter the bathroom area, pick a spot and sit on the bucket to do the big job. When done, dem go empty am into de toilet and flush comot (well if water dey)!
This way, with only 2 toilets to go round those needing to use each section of the available bathrooms (not sure how many toilets per floor, probably about 8 or so to serve several hundreds of people); several babes were doing the same job in the same way but to varying degrees! Especially when it’s just about a 10minute window you have before the sound of doom (that’s what I named the sound of the bugle) was heard in the early hours to beckon you to the assembly ground to be chanting ‘ora, ora, o raa’ – stupid and meaningless songs!
After babes don ‘shit’ finish, dem go go baf, make up and come dey pose for assembly ground! Na waya sha! Chei!
The scene reminded me of hot-air balloon races, where you see several of them floating in the skies!
God just help una, if you go carry one of this bucket borrow go use to baf!
8. Picture this: Red-Neck Affair! During a recent outdoor photo-shoot, I suddenly felt a talon-like effect on my left arm. Lo and behold, as I looked reactively, there was a red-neck lizzie on my arm and as I screamed and jerked, it hopped its way on peoples backs; a ladies toupee et al before it finally disappeared!
Oh, was I disgusted or what for the remainder of the event and even the day! Even as I’m re-living it right now, I’m having goose bumps!
9. Had another electricity near miss at home. Thank God as always for his protection. I was home one evening when I started smelling burnt cables. As I investigated, I realised the cables for my cut-out box had completely melted, baring the metal internals.
Whilst the electrician who came round 2 days after to carry out the repairs didn’t do a thorough job, he made certain revelations. The wirings for the change-over-box was on partial contact; the entire wiring of the house is apparently dire; the neutral of my generator had been connected to the neutral on the Nepa line; when I turn on my generator, some neighbours benefit from it; there’s severe overloading et al.
He categorically told me I was lucky to have been aware and at home at the time to have prevented the incidence from degenerating into a fire outbreak. Truly, I just thank God for His protection!
Oh, NICEIC where art thou? Too much shoddy jobs have certainly claimed several lives, I’m sure of that. Shame we don’t keep records! I’m sure most ‘cause of death on records’ will show ‘killed from village’ / ‘unnatural causes’!
10. Picture this: An inferno! One night at about 10.45pm, I went to the bathroom for a shower only to notice a glow on my bathroom wall. On looking out of the window to find out the source of the glow, I spotted an inferno from a nearby ‘Saw Mill’ market. By that time, one of my neighbours had also spotted it, as we watched from our various windows, as usual, 999 was the first thing on my mind before I realised I was in Las Giddy! As the fire spread, there was a sudden realisation that it may spread to the bordering mini estate and I knew a friend and his family who resided there; I was pushed to go see for myself. Just before I left the house, I made a call to my friend who apparently had been completely oblivious to what was going on nearby.
I went to the fire site. As I walked down, I joined countless others calling the 767 Las Giddy Emergency number (finally remembered our very own local ‘E’ number) to get a fire engine over. The line was engaged but some managed to get through.
At the start it was just one fire truck, thankfully, this story was different from the one I was used to hearing. THEY ACTUALLY HAD WATER TO COMBAT THE FIRE! But one truck wasn’t sufficient, as the fighters ran from one end of the market to the other trying to subdue the fire.
By this time, around 12.30am, a lot of the market stall owners had come round trying to salvage what they could from stores yet to be affected / already affected. Others wailed helplessly in the dead of night as they realised their means of livelihood had been reduced to ashes! The fact that the woods were thoroughly dried worsened the case.
As the fire began to spread to the 1st house in the mini estate, people climbed on roofs and poured and poured water until there was hope. Eventually, I think another 2 fire trucks came round and I would sincerely say that a lot of buildings around the vicinity would have easily become history if not for God and the intervention of the equipped fire trucks.
Whilst some people complained they (fire fighters) came late, my take is that at least they turned up, contained the fire and prevented loss of lives!
What caused the fire? Only God knows! See attached a recording from my mobile phone!
11. Picture this: ‘Kiss of Life’(well almost)! A while back when I was quite unwell, I had to visit the hospital a few times. On one of the occasions, a male Dokie had to see me. No be like jand wey you go have your own GP and na im go dey see you anytime wen you go hospital. Anyway, na so the dokie examine me. After, e finish, he say make I comot for bed make I com sidon. As I sidon, e come stand up, waka to where I dey come hold my hands to drag me up. Before I fit say ‘Jack Robinson….’ E don put im hands around me pull me towards himself and wan kiss me with im broken tooth! Sho!
I was in utter shock as I gathered some strength in my weak state to shrug him off. I wondered and pondered on so many things – the door wasn’t locked, anyone could have walked in. What would the Dokie have said? What would the people have said or thought? If I had responded, where would that have led to?
Na waya o. I go hospital for Malaria injection, na love injection I almost carry comot! Dokie, chase and chase o after. Kai, 9ja, anything can and does happen! No be the first time I go experience dis kin thing o for Las Giddy.
Until the next time stay strong, have fun, be good and May God bless you richly. As always, please feel free to forward to others and post your comments on the blog site!
Happy Easter!
Still Keeping It Real in Las Giddy!
Moi
