Hello Everyone,
How is the TGIF going down your end? I'm definitely glad for it. Hope your week has been great. Many thanks for the calls, emails and comments! I will continue the blog o until when I'm commentless!
Anyway, Enjoy!
1. Picture this: Day 207 - so fatigued and exhausted was I that 'mo pa no lo' at my desk! As in, I literally had to snooze at my desk for about 40minutes or so, before I became normal again. The truth be say, wen sleep use to catch person like dat for jand, na loo person go run to go sleep. Ha, u wan die sha if you go any of our loos here to go snooze o. In fact, the sleep go comot for ya eyes quick quick - as in the toilets are un-user friendly! Having said that though, I remember one time like dat for one ol' job in jand wey person go rest im eyes for toilet. Na so another person com use toilet wey be say, I almost die from smelly suffocation. I run comot as a matter of emergency and urgency!
Nawaya o!
2. Picture this scene: I was on my home when I saw a hawker trying to sell his ware to someone on a bus. He was trying to sell a bottle of Coke to a passenger, which in itself was not the issue but how to reach out to the man on the bus. The bus was one of those big buses like ehm the 'Ekene Dili Chukwu' of Naija; National Express of Jand; and Greyhound of the Yanks! So the boy was jumping up and down like a yoyo in moving traffic trying to get the Coke to the man on the bus and the man was not willing to let go of the money for the Coke until he'd grabbed the Coke in his hand. Eventually, both of them achieved their goal! What a sight! It was a miracle the guy wasn't crushed in the process!
3. Day 208 - a day of terrible traffic on the famous bridge going home! There were scores of cars that had broken down from overheating - bonnets were just flying open! What was worrying was that about 95% of the cars were Mercedes Benz! Is there something worth noting about the Merc considering its considered to be a good ride?
Still on this journey! Na so the cab man com tell me say he wan stop put water for im car radiator or something like dat. I tell am say lailai, dat one no go happen whilst I still dey inside his car! I tell am say nothing go make im stop o for the bridge. In fact, ehn, after he tell me dis, I com dey pray hard make we just comot for the bridge bcos the truth be say, na true the car need the water but I wasn't willing to risk my life bcos of a car or anyone; moreso being night-time!
4. Just a thought here - been wondering how passengers cope with the heat in danfos! If I find it difficult coping with cross-ventilation, how are they coping with un-cross ventilation?
5. Day 209 - I saw with my korokoro eyes two well dressed gentlemen almost engaged in 'gidigbo' on the famous bridge. One had rammed his car into the other. I wasn't recovered from that sight (one which you only see amongst the public transport drivers and area boys) when I saw yet another brawl - one more serious than the 'gidigbo' sight. I think the tanker had driven badly against the molue driver. I just suddenly saw a few people jumping down from the molue and giving the water tanker driver and its occupants some severe rushed beatings using belts and fists; all through their windows. 'Twas brawly!
6. This one is down memory lane! One of my colleagues was in a need of a pen this morning. After having a go at him for coming to work without a pen and loaning him mine, I found some spare 'bic biros' in my laptop bag. I gave him one. On doing that, he jokingly asked if he should put his name on it, in order to stop anyone from nicking it. Then I remembered how we used to guide our biros against being nicked when I was in primary school. How we would note down the bic number like Q-F-24; even write your name on a piece of paper and slip it into the biro cover and even went as far as inscriptions on the biro. Do you remember that? Do you remember 'Suwe' and carrying your magic 'Suwe stone or glass piece' around the place in preparation for a game of Suwe - Now our kids only play with X-Box, Z-Box, PS et al? Do you remember playing 10-10? Do you remember the daddy and mummy game? Do you remember the slate with the Yoruba alphabets -a, b, e, e, f, g, gb? Do you remember having home lessons using black boards and chalks to write? Do you remember Big Deep/Dip? Do you remember Parmalat drink? Do you remember Bata Sandals? For the ladies, do you remember having you hair threaded with rubber / cotton thread and always loving the after effect of leaving your hair abit straightened for a few minutes when you take out the threads?
Times have definitely changed!
Back to reality!
Have a blessed weekend! And Merry Xmas in Advance! Yes o, Merry Xmas in Advance!
Always & Always,
Moi (Keeping It Real)
Friday, October 26, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Naija Week 40 - Habi, You Get Connection?
Hello,
Hope you've had a good weekend. It was definitely one of those days for a 'TGIF' last Friday - sorry I didn't post!
Hope you've had a good weekend. It was definitely one of those days for a 'TGIF' last Friday - sorry I didn't post!
Thanks a bunch for the emails and comments that’s been coming in. I’ve received a few urging me to keep blogging. So blogging, it is! Thanks for reading and keeping this going for me!
Here's my little piece for week 40 - really not much for a change!
1. Public offers are going up for grabs for you investors out there! There seems to be one public offer or another each month. Anyway, Fidelity Bank and FCMB shares are up for sale!
2. Day 204 - It took me just 1hour to get to work. It was amazing as I don't remember the last time such happened - its been taking almost 3hours to get in for the last few months!
3. Sewer endurance! Na soso 'shxx' smell we don dey endure for the last few days for work o. To chop for office don becom wahala! To drink sef, don becom wahala too, as you will be close to puking by the time you are done. And ehm, I hear say management no even won pay to empty the 'thing' properly – becos dey wan move, so na the gutter wey dey outside the compound dem dey pump am into, just to bless our neighbours! Health hazard of the highest order! Na prayer I dey take pray say make client no come visit me whenever the thing dey erupt! Chei, if dis na jand, a for don make plenty money o from litigation like charging them for sewer smelling disorder, smell belle-ful; not to mention office and atmospheric pollution.
4. Picture this - I just realise say without NYSC certificate or exemption certificate, I no fit work o. Ok, where I'm at, they didn't ask for it, being a 1-man band. But then a lot of us abroad think that once you are 30 and above you can get exemption, but that’s not the truth o. Apparently, you can only get an exemption, if you finished University at 30 years of age and above. So does that mean that if I've been away from Naija forever and decide to come back home at 45years of age (and finished all academic acquisitions by 24years of age), that that person has to serve before they can get a decent job?
Habi, you get connection? If you do, abeg I need am o, make me too be able to go out there to market myself for other opportunities.
Meanwhile, everybody dey say the NYSC don go past its ‘sell by date’! Serving is no guarantee for anything! There are graduates out of there that are Okada drivers, jobless, touts, robbers et al. Hmm, nawa sha!
5. Attended a girlfriend’s wedding at the weekend in Abuja. Had to drive to the airport early, something I’d never done before! After missing the terminal by going to MMA2 first, I finally got to MMA and purchased my ticket at 6.30am for a 7.15am flight – ain’t that nice: never try that though for a Friday or Monday Abuja flight! For a VN flight, they left spot on at 7.15am, arrived on the dot at the stipulated time, both for going and coming back. A friend that got there at 7am was denied boarding! I was well impressed with their timeliness and politeness. Whilst this may not be the case every time, one thing is certain, the face of customer service is changing in Naija!
6. Is it true that crime rate is higher in South Africa than in Naija? That’s the vibes being received these days, even from its own nationals! Hmmmmm!
Proudly Nigerian!
Stay tuned for this week’s post! Enjoy your week! May it be stress-free, fulfilling and rewarding!
Always & Always,
Moi (RLC)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Naija Week 39 - A TV Thing!
Howdy Y'All,
Trust you are all doing well and had a great weekend. Well I did (or think I did) as it was 3-day working week last week due to the Sallah break - don't I just love Naija!
So, here's the little I have to report on for the short week!
On another note before I go on, I'm thinking of winding this down gradually, I mean the diary. What do you think?
Read On!
1. Went to the mechanics to service my car at the weekend and heard of a dog called 'Funso'! Quite unique, I'd say! I'd always been used to names like Bingo, Lucky, Charlie; but Funso, never!
2. Still on the same visit to the mechanic, my car was now taken for an engine steam-cleaning session. Whilst there, I now got so pressed to ease myself. Being sat at a 'restaurant' I now politely asked if there was a bathroom to use. On second thoughts, I knew it'd be a miracle for the bathroom to be 'civil' but at that point I was ready to take/make a gamble more so, because I had all my bathroom gadgets in my handbag. Ok, ok, I'm sure someone is wondering what I mean by bathroom gadgets. My BG includes toilet roll, pocket tissue, Tesco's moist tissue, hand anti-bacterial lotion/sanitiser and handcream! Yes o! I carry all these with me as you just never know where you will go and be confronted with some strange permutations of hygiene provisions. For example, no tissue, not enough tissue, no tissue to place on toilet seat, no water to wash hands, no water to flush, water available at start of visit but gone by time of departure, soap on hands with no water to wash off et al. In fact, my permutations can go on!
Anyway sha, na so the boy go find out for me o. On returning, na im, e say make I follow am. Thinking, I had conquered, na soso follow I follow am. E com reach won open space with gutter, e com tell me say na 'here' dem dey piss', say e don bring me com the place o!
In astonishment, I com ask if im sure. I tell say e dey have a laff habi. E too com laff o but true my people, na for dat open place people dey do am o.
I'm sure you can guess that I held my peace until I left there to look for a decent place! But then, I only had that problem being a woman, men don't!
3. Day 199 - I went to church for a morning service and on my way to the car park, a robber had been nabbed whilst trying to steal a stereo from a car or perhaps his intention was even to steal the car! Anyway, he'd been beaten real good and with a police station a few minutes away, getting him handcuffed and marched there didn't take much effort!
4. Picture this: Within the short week, here are the typos spotted on the TV screen - Combact, Octomber, Strories, Distupting, Cheif! Whatever happened to the editors?
5. On the NEPA front, I think I spoke abit too soon a few weeks back, they seem to be getting back to their ol' tricks again; plus what's the point getting supply from them when its going to be at half-capacity? Nawaya o!
Always & Always,
Moi (Still Keeping It Real)
Trust you are all doing well and had a great weekend. Well I did (or think I did) as it was 3-day working week last week due to the Sallah break - don't I just love Naija!
So, here's the little I have to report on for the short week!
On another note before I go on, I'm thinking of winding this down gradually, I mean the diary. What do you think?
Read On!
1. Went to the mechanics to service my car at the weekend and heard of a dog called 'Funso'! Quite unique, I'd say! I'd always been used to names like Bingo, Lucky, Charlie; but Funso, never!
2. Still on the same visit to the mechanic, my car was now taken for an engine steam-cleaning session. Whilst there, I now got so pressed to ease myself. Being sat at a 'restaurant' I now politely asked if there was a bathroom to use. On second thoughts, I knew it'd be a miracle for the bathroom to be 'civil' but at that point I was ready to take/make a gamble more so, because I had all my bathroom gadgets in my handbag. Ok, ok, I'm sure someone is wondering what I mean by bathroom gadgets. My BG includes toilet roll, pocket tissue, Tesco's moist tissue, hand anti-bacterial lotion/sanitiser and handcream! Yes o! I carry all these with me as you just never know where you will go and be confronted with some strange permutations of hygiene provisions. For example, no tissue, not enough tissue, no tissue to place on toilet seat, no water to wash hands, no water to flush, water available at start of visit but gone by time of departure, soap on hands with no water to wash off et al. In fact, my permutations can go on!
Anyway sha, na so the boy go find out for me o. On returning, na im, e say make I follow am. Thinking, I had conquered, na soso follow I follow am. E com reach won open space with gutter, e com tell me say na 'here' dem dey piss', say e don bring me com the place o!
In astonishment, I com ask if im sure. I tell say e dey have a laff habi. E too com laff o but true my people, na for dat open place people dey do am o.
I'm sure you can guess that I held my peace until I left there to look for a decent place! But then, I only had that problem being a woman, men don't!
3. Day 199 - I went to church for a morning service and on my way to the car park, a robber had been nabbed whilst trying to steal a stereo from a car or perhaps his intention was even to steal the car! Anyway, he'd been beaten real good and with a police station a few minutes away, getting him handcuffed and marched there didn't take much effort!
4. Picture this: Within the short week, here are the typos spotted on the TV screen - Combact, Octomber, Strories, Distupting, Cheif! Whatever happened to the editors?
5. On the NEPA front, I think I spoke abit too soon a few weeks back, they seem to be getting back to their ol' tricks again; plus what's the point getting supply from them when its going to be at half-capacity? Nawaya o!
Always & Always,
Moi (Still Keeping It Real)
Friday, October 5, 2007
Naija Week 38 - Koboko Elenu Meje Whipping!
Howdy Everyone,
Hope you've had a good week. I'm sure you won't believe me if I told you I had a stress-less week in Las Giddy! Well I didn't - 'twas still as stressful as ever doing an average of about 15hours away from home daily! I've been talking of mortality rate now, I don't think its being measured and if it was I can bet my life that stress is a major killer; but then who will ever own up to someone dying of stress in Las Giddy? The answer will be that somebody somewhere 'is doing' or 'has done' the person! As heard in time past, noone dies through natural circumstances in Naija!
Last week's event now seems like a life time ago, the people involved seem to have long moved on, so I've had to do just that before people begin to wonder who the true victim is/was; but its still imprinted on my heart!
Anyway, here goes for Week 38!
1. My mum clocked 60 on October 1! Bless her! 60 hearty cheers to her now! And many more hearty cheers for the years to come! She had a party. Men, I have concluded that wearing a head gear in both our mild and un-mild weather is a punishment o. Even our lace et al is punishment. Na chuk the thing just dey chuk me. In fact after the church service, na d gele I first comot make heat no kill me! The irony was dat, it seemed like na only me dey sweat dat kind sweat. Acclimatisation na big word o!
2. Some time last week, I watched the tail end of a movie on one of the local channels - 'Superscreen' to be precise. Then the screen showed the menu of a DVD collection! For a second I wondered how I had gotten to that screen before it dawned on me that it was from the TV station - they had just shown a movie from a pirated 'road side purchase' DVD collection with 'chinko' titles! I tell you this can only happen here o!
3. Day 192 - Na so I waka go where I go take cab! I waka for 15minutes and waited for 20minutes to get a cab. Can you believe that it was after a whole 35minutes that I realised that my front zipper was down, when I boarded the cab. I can't begin to recount the looks and hootings I got and I just wonder what their reasons where! What is the synonym for embarassment?
4. Look at this equation: Hawkers + No Traffic = No business in Las Giddy!
5. Picture this - was talking to some colleagues at the end of a meeting and a man literally hit his head on the glass door near us whilst staring at me. I mean, he walked into the glass door! Honestly, no kidding! We just busted out laughing when he was out of sight!
6. Seems some Las Giddy people are getting fitness conscious these days. I see people jogging everyday now around my end - counted over 10 people one morning whilst waiting to board a cab! This place has a way making you so unfit and the irony of it is that most people think they are enjoying life that way - eating junk and hopping in and out of their cars all day everyday! So, when I'm doing my walk to the cab rank, I don't moan anyone!
7. Was stopped by the FRSC on my way to church - hadn't used my seat belt! I was asked to show my DL, which I did. Then the guy asked why I hadn't used my seat belt. I simply replied politely that I had forgotten to use it and was sorry. The guy then returned my DL, told me simply also to strap up and drive on! That was God! Road safety people nail you as you offend! Thank God for favour!
8. Just when I was overcoming the aftermath of my brothers robbery, his mother-in-law was robbed in a hair saloon by a gun-wielding female robber. She stripped all the occupants of their money, phones and other valuables! Yes, female / woman / womb-man / obinrin / nwenyi!
So when I had to visit the saloon at the weekend, I only went in with bare minimum!
9. Picture this - I have a carbon monoxide detector in my kitchen. It is suppose to change colours depending on the air quality in the kitchen! So when it suddenly changed to black depicting danger the other day, I was so scared I ran out of the kitchen o and went to open up all the doors and windows of the house. Whilst I'm still unsure of why it had changed colour, could it have had anything to do with the generator being on and the gas cooker too? Na wa o! I refused to turn on anything for a few good days after!
10. Can you imagine trying someone's number for atleast 200 times? That was what I encountered one evening - no thanks to network problems! I tell you the telecom firms are milking us dry with poor service levels! Just imagine if it was an emergency! And before you think the remedy is to have several numbers with different operators, think twice! I once tried my mum on all 4 or 5 numbers and I couldn't reach her on anyone for over 2days!
Ha, I miss Ofcom o!
11. Picture this: Day 194 - Was on our way home in bad traffic. We just suddenly heard someone use a koboko with several mouths (horse whip) to whip our car! It was a police van carrying some jokers, some unimportant people but they wanted to fly through traffic - no siren because thats been banned or so. He hit the car once, hit it again and hit the driver (my manager) - I mean whip him literally with the koboko to get him to move out of his lane. I was in awe with my mouth agape for about 3minutes refusing to believe that that had just happened. I was mad and pxxxx. So that meant, if the driver was a woman or pregnant woman or so, thats how he would have beaten her. What nonsnese! What lawlessness!
12. NEPA / PHCN has been very good with electricity supply for the last 6 weeks - have had days without any interruption. Its been utterly amazing! But my question is why and how did the sudden supply emanate because its been from one extreme to another - no light to almost complete supply! Was someone intentionally punishing us?
I'm not complaining sha!
13. Just been told now -10.44am that TuFace was robbed and shot yesterday on his way home from the airport after returning from London. He didn't die - thank God!
14. Did a write up for Celtel magazine on blogging. It also featured my blog details et al. The
Q3 magazine has just been published and I am so proud of myself!
Thanks Workstation!
And thats all for now folks.
Enjoy your weekend! Have a blessed and restful one!
Always & Always,
Moi (Keeping It Real)
Hope you've had a good week. I'm sure you won't believe me if I told you I had a stress-less week in Las Giddy! Well I didn't - 'twas still as stressful as ever doing an average of about 15hours away from home daily! I've been talking of mortality rate now, I don't think its being measured and if it was I can bet my life that stress is a major killer; but then who will ever own up to someone dying of stress in Las Giddy? The answer will be that somebody somewhere 'is doing' or 'has done' the person! As heard in time past, noone dies through natural circumstances in Naija!
Last week's event now seems like a life time ago, the people involved seem to have long moved on, so I've had to do just that before people begin to wonder who the true victim is/was; but its still imprinted on my heart!
Anyway, here goes for Week 38!
1. My mum clocked 60 on October 1! Bless her! 60 hearty cheers to her now! And many more hearty cheers for the years to come! She had a party. Men, I have concluded that wearing a head gear in both our mild and un-mild weather is a punishment o. Even our lace et al is punishment. Na chuk the thing just dey chuk me. In fact after the church service, na d gele I first comot make heat no kill me! The irony was dat, it seemed like na only me dey sweat dat kind sweat. Acclimatisation na big word o!
2. Some time last week, I watched the tail end of a movie on one of the local channels - 'Superscreen' to be precise. Then the screen showed the menu of a DVD collection! For a second I wondered how I had gotten to that screen before it dawned on me that it was from the TV station - they had just shown a movie from a pirated 'road side purchase' DVD collection with 'chinko' titles! I tell you this can only happen here o!
3. Day 192 - Na so I waka go where I go take cab! I waka for 15minutes and waited for 20minutes to get a cab. Can you believe that it was after a whole 35minutes that I realised that my front zipper was down, when I boarded the cab. I can't begin to recount the looks and hootings I got and I just wonder what their reasons where! What is the synonym for embarassment?
4. Look at this equation: Hawkers + No Traffic = No business in Las Giddy!
5. Picture this - was talking to some colleagues at the end of a meeting and a man literally hit his head on the glass door near us whilst staring at me. I mean, he walked into the glass door! Honestly, no kidding! We just busted out laughing when he was out of sight!
6. Seems some Las Giddy people are getting fitness conscious these days. I see people jogging everyday now around my end - counted over 10 people one morning whilst waiting to board a cab! This place has a way making you so unfit and the irony of it is that most people think they are enjoying life that way - eating junk and hopping in and out of their cars all day everyday! So, when I'm doing my walk to the cab rank, I don't moan anyone!
7. Was stopped by the FRSC on my way to church - hadn't used my seat belt! I was asked to show my DL, which I did. Then the guy asked why I hadn't used my seat belt. I simply replied politely that I had forgotten to use it and was sorry. The guy then returned my DL, told me simply also to strap up and drive on! That was God! Road safety people nail you as you offend! Thank God for favour!
8. Just when I was overcoming the aftermath of my brothers robbery, his mother-in-law was robbed in a hair saloon by a gun-wielding female robber. She stripped all the occupants of their money, phones and other valuables! Yes, female / woman / womb-man / obinrin / nwenyi!
So when I had to visit the saloon at the weekend, I only went in with bare minimum!
9. Picture this - I have a carbon monoxide detector in my kitchen. It is suppose to change colours depending on the air quality in the kitchen! So when it suddenly changed to black depicting danger the other day, I was so scared I ran out of the kitchen o and went to open up all the doors and windows of the house. Whilst I'm still unsure of why it had changed colour, could it have had anything to do with the generator being on and the gas cooker too? Na wa o! I refused to turn on anything for a few good days after!
10. Can you imagine trying someone's number for atleast 200 times? That was what I encountered one evening - no thanks to network problems! I tell you the telecom firms are milking us dry with poor service levels! Just imagine if it was an emergency! And before you think the remedy is to have several numbers with different operators, think twice! I once tried my mum on all 4 or 5 numbers and I couldn't reach her on anyone for over 2days!
Ha, I miss Ofcom o!
11. Picture this: Day 194 - Was on our way home in bad traffic. We just suddenly heard someone use a koboko with several mouths (horse whip) to whip our car! It was a police van carrying some jokers, some unimportant people but they wanted to fly through traffic - no siren because thats been banned or so. He hit the car once, hit it again and hit the driver (my manager) - I mean whip him literally with the koboko to get him to move out of his lane. I was in awe with my mouth agape for about 3minutes refusing to believe that that had just happened. I was mad and pxxxx. So that meant, if the driver was a woman or pregnant woman or so, thats how he would have beaten her. What nonsnese! What lawlessness!
12. NEPA / PHCN has been very good with electricity supply for the last 6 weeks - have had days without any interruption. Its been utterly amazing! But my question is why and how did the sudden supply emanate because its been from one extreme to another - no light to almost complete supply! Was someone intentionally punishing us?
I'm not complaining sha!
13. Just been told now -10.44am that TuFace was robbed and shot yesterday on his way home from the airport after returning from London. He didn't die - thank God!
14. Did a write up for Celtel magazine on blogging. It also featured my blog details et al. The
Q3 magazine has just been published and I am so proud of myself!
Thanks Workstation!
And thats all for now folks.
Enjoy your weekend! Have a blessed and restful one!
Always & Always,
Moi (Keeping It Real)
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