Howdy Everyone,
Hope you've had a good week. I'm sure you won't believe me if I told you I had a stress-less week in Las Giddy! Well I didn't - 'twas still as stressful as ever doing an average of about 15hours away from home daily! I've been talking of mortality rate now, I don't think its being measured and if it was I can bet my life that stress is a major killer; but then who will ever own up to someone dying of stress in Las Giddy? The answer will be that somebody somewhere 'is doing' or 'has done' the person! As heard in time past, noone dies through natural circumstances in Naija!
Last week's event now seems like a life time ago, the people involved seem to have long moved on, so I've had to do just that before people begin to wonder who the true victim is/was; but its still imprinted on my heart!
Anyway, here goes for Week 38!
1. My mum clocked 60 on October 1! Bless her! 60 hearty cheers to her now! And many more hearty cheers for the years to come! She had a party. Men, I have concluded that wearing a head gear in both our mild and un-mild weather is a punishment o. Even our lace et al is punishment. Na chuk the thing just dey chuk me. In fact after the church service, na d gele I first comot make heat no kill me! The irony was dat, it seemed like na only me dey sweat dat kind sweat. Acclimatisation na big word o!
2. Some time last week, I watched the tail end of a movie on one of the local channels - 'Superscreen' to be precise. Then the screen showed the menu of a DVD collection! For a second I wondered how I had gotten to that screen before it dawned on me that it was from the TV station - they had just shown a movie from a pirated 'road side purchase' DVD collection with 'chinko' titles! I tell you this can only happen here o!
3. Day 192 - Na so I waka go where I go take cab! I waka for 15minutes and waited for 20minutes to get a cab. Can you believe that it was after a whole 35minutes that I realised that my front zipper was down, when I boarded the cab. I can't begin to recount the looks and hootings I got and I just wonder what their reasons where! What is the synonym for embarassment?
4. Look at this equation: Hawkers + No Traffic = No business in Las Giddy!
5. Picture this - was talking to some colleagues at the end of a meeting and a man literally hit his head on the glass door near us whilst staring at me. I mean, he walked into the glass door! Honestly, no kidding! We just busted out laughing when he was out of sight!
6. Seems some Las Giddy people are getting fitness conscious these days. I see people jogging everyday now around my end - counted over 10 people one morning whilst waiting to board a cab! This place has a way making you so unfit and the irony of it is that most people think they are enjoying life that way - eating junk and hopping in and out of their cars all day everyday! So, when I'm doing my walk to the cab rank, I don't moan anyone!
7. Was stopped by the FRSC on my way to church - hadn't used my seat belt! I was asked to show my DL, which I did. Then the guy asked why I hadn't used my seat belt. I simply replied politely that I had forgotten to use it and was sorry. The guy then returned my DL, told me simply also to strap up and drive on! That was God! Road safety people nail you as you offend! Thank God for favour!
8. Just when I was overcoming the aftermath of my brothers robbery, his mother-in-law was robbed in a hair saloon by a gun-wielding female robber. She stripped all the occupants of their money, phones and other valuables! Yes, female / woman / womb-man / obinrin / nwenyi!
So when I had to visit the saloon at the weekend, I only went in with bare minimum!
9. Picture this - I have a carbon monoxide detector in my kitchen. It is suppose to change colours depending on the air quality in the kitchen! So when it suddenly changed to black depicting danger the other day, I was so scared I ran out of the kitchen o and went to open up all the doors and windows of the house. Whilst I'm still unsure of why it had changed colour, could it have had anything to do with the generator being on and the gas cooker too? Na wa o! I refused to turn on anything for a few good days after!
10. Can you imagine trying someone's number for atleast 200 times? That was what I encountered one evening - no thanks to network problems! I tell you the telecom firms are milking us dry with poor service levels! Just imagine if it was an emergency! And before you think the remedy is to have several numbers with different operators, think twice! I once tried my mum on all 4 or 5 numbers and I couldn't reach her on anyone for over 2days!
Ha, I miss Ofcom o!
11. Picture this: Day 194 - Was on our way home in bad traffic. We just suddenly heard someone use a koboko with several mouths (horse whip) to whip our car! It was a police van carrying some jokers, some unimportant people but they wanted to fly through traffic - no siren because thats been banned or so. He hit the car once, hit it again and hit the driver (my manager) - I mean whip him literally with the koboko to get him to move out of his lane. I was in awe with my mouth agape for about 3minutes refusing to believe that that had just happened. I was mad and pxxxx. So that meant, if the driver was a woman or pregnant woman or so, thats how he would have beaten her. What nonsnese! What lawlessness!
12. NEPA / PHCN has been very good with electricity supply for the last 6 weeks - have had days without any interruption. Its been utterly amazing! But my question is why and how did the sudden supply emanate because its been from one extreme to another - no light to almost complete supply! Was someone intentionally punishing us?
I'm not complaining sha!
13. Just been told now -10.44am that TuFace was robbed and shot yesterday on his way home from the airport after returning from London. He didn't die - thank God!
14. Did a write up for Celtel magazine on blogging. It also featured my blog details et al. The
Q3 magazine has just been published and I am so proud of myself!
Thanks Workstation!
And thats all for now folks.
Enjoy your weekend! Have a blessed and restful one!
Always & Always,
Moi (Keeping It Real)
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