Naija Week 33 - 30 Gunshots!‏

Hello,

Hope you've had a great week. TGIF!

Many thanks for your readership and comments via the site and emails!

Enjoy this week's report!

1. Was opportuned to dine at the Lagoon restaurant with some 'Halli' people last week and boy, was the food setting great or what! The experience was good o! 'Twill be the first time I will see shrimp/prawn that big! In this place, they just keeping serving you until you indicate that you want no more! Na money kill am sha!

2. Was at a party over the weekend and just as I was leaving I saw a woman squatted by one of the parked cars with pants fully down relieving herself! What a sight!

3. Saw a dial-up facility that made me laff! To get internet connection means having to carry a Starcomms telephone (not GSM) around with you in order to get & remain connected to your laptop. Hmmm!

4. Day 166 - Made my first road side purchase! I bought a newly released Nollywood movie titled 'Caught in the Middle'. For the equivalent of 1-pound, I was not disappointed! It was good quality and nicely produced in partnership with Ecobank. Hmm, all the places these banks dey invest in!

All the Nollywood fans out there should go get their copy. Its a nice romantic comedy! Not that I'm an avid Nollywood fan, but this is the first movie I'll watch that showcases some of the better spots of Las Giddy!

5. Naira redenomination; Naira redenomiwetin? Whats your view?

6. Got lifts to work a couple of times this week from different people in my neighbourhood. They just stopped and asked where I was headed since they were heading into the Island! Oh, how nice!

7. Day 167 - was in the car with a colleague who successfully followed a 'sirened' vehicle for 20minutes! I was speechless as I sat glued in my seat and watch him do as they did; and other motorists steering clear of the road for him too!

8. Day 168 - saw a couple of 'egunguns' / 'masquerades' whilst going through Sandgrouse! I didn't know they still existed or that people still carried out such practices as 'eyo', 'oro' et al in this our 21st century!

9. Picture this - Day 168 at around 1.30am! I was awoken by the sounds of gunshots! I quickly came round to consciousness, wondering what on earth was going on. Whilst fully awake, I heard and counted (no kidding) 30 gunshots! You could tell a battle was going on from the sounds of the shots - like an inferior vs superior shots by the way they sounded.

I was scared as I thought the 'mopols' that guarded a couple of houses on my street had some uninvited guests! I tried to look out of the window but couldn't see a thing except the smell of gunshots! Plus there was no light!

I barely got much sleep for the remainder of the night even after the battle seemed to have died down.

Not knowing what had happened at night, I refused to leave the house until it was properly daybreak - 7am! On my way out, I asked the security guards for the estate and was told that the battle hadn't occurred with the estate but in the nearby neighbourhood! Thank God for his mercies!

10. Day 169 - As I was about to board a cab and haggling away on price, a man just came up behind me wanting to board the same cab. The driver beckoned to the man to leave seeing he was still negotiating with me. As the man stepped away, we both suddenly noticed that his ankle was chained and padlocked to his wrist. I felt cold shivers down my spine as it suddenly occurred to me that he may be an escaped criminal. As I looked at him and he looked back as he walked away - I prayed that he won't walk back towards me! At that point, I was ready to pay the cab man what he wanted just to move away from that place o. Its all good!

11. Still on Day 169 - I go chop poundo with my colleague for one place called 'Waka'. The setting is so different! You have settees to sit and relax on instead of the standard hard chairs! Anyways, after poundos, na sleep we won sleep o! In fact, we weren't the same for the rest of the day!

12. Day 170 - Saw a stark naked mad man on the other side of the bridge with no restraints. As I went past, I hoped that his madness wouldn't lead him to jump off!

13. For the 1st time in months, I'm getting some exercise in Las Giddy - Walking!

14. Picture this - went out with a friend for a drink and I witnessed toasting effrontery first-hand! Never mind, I had a male-company; it just didn't stop this guy from making his moves and giving his raps. Haba, this na real wa!

That's all!

Have a restful weekend!

Always & Always,

Moi (RLC)

Naija Week 32 - Alas, Saw A Bullet!‏

Howdy Y'All,

Hope you've had a splendid week. Here's my report for yet another crazy week in Las Giddy - God's own city!

My thumb is getting better, albeit still very painful! Amazing how inadequate you become with 9-usable fingers! Yet, some are without and have learnt to live life despite that. I appreciate my thumb and every other body part that may seem insignificant - I probably didn't before until I realised that I can't even button my shirt right now or grip anything! Won't be hacking any chicken for the foreseeable future! And believe me, the jokes about this hasn't stopped from my work clients especially!

For all the emails, texts and comments - I'm saying thank you! I really appreciate them all. Please don't stop; keep the comments flowing to the blog site!

Read On!

1. Had a near miss accident on Sunday afternoon! A speeding jeep jumped the lights at full red, just as lights at my end had turned full green, with my car positioned first to roar! What saved me was the fact that I had spotted the driver before he hit a blind spot and had intuitively concluded that he won't stop. And he didn't! Thank God for his mercies!

Had the privilege of eating 'Isi-Ewu'! Not sure what to say sha about the experience!

2. Day 161 - Whilst in traffic on my way to work, I saw a man who had fallen fast asleep at the steering wheel. He really was deeply asleep because he didn't budge with all the cars hooting and trying to get past him. I actually feared that he'd died at the wheel. It wasn't until quite a number of cars had gone past that he came back to 'life' to continue driving! Na waya o for a Monday!

3. Did I mention that some of our staff travelling to some client sites for deployment had a terrible accident on the motorway a couple of weeks back. The bus apparently somersaulted thrice before landing in the bush. A couple of them sustained serious injuries - but today they are fully recovered - thank God. I just wanted to wait for their full recovery before mentioning it!

What got to me about this episode was that there were two vans travelling on the work assignment. One of the guys on the other unaffected van, had actually been sat in the affected van. Strangely, one of the guys on the bus annoyed him just before they left the office (in fact they had started moving), such that he asked the driver to stop for him to swap vans. This gentleman believes he would have died in the accident if he hadn't swapped over! Truly God saved him, who knows what would / may have happened!

4. Day 163 - Picture this! As I dey look for taxi for Ikoyi wey go take me go work, na so one mad man go past me. As the mad man waka, na him he won touch me! My people, na scream I scream run comot from the place wey I stand.

How would I get over a half-naked mad man touching me! 'Tufiapa'! It was so freaking freaky!

5. I saw a hen and its chicks! This was a sight I hadn't witnessed in years! Also, saw a billboard for something to do with Wole Soyinka mentioning 'Jero Plays'! Does anyone remember Jero Plays?

6. Day 164 - Picture this! I went to the hozy for my every 2-days thumb dressing and unstitching (thankfully I was told the stitches will come undone by themselves later, so I didn't have to go through the pain).

Prior to this, I'd spotted a half burnt van on the famous bridge on way to the hozy with a few people around the bus looking very disoriented.

Anyway, whilst waiting to be seen, I saw this woman and a little girl with blood stained clothes. The woman's hand had a big dressing round it. They left.

Then a another lady and a limping man came through. He went through to threatre immediately. The lady started sobbing. I consoled her and gave her a tissue. She didn't say was wrong until she got on the phone and told the person on the line that he had a gunshot wound on his leg. Later, she told us of how the man who is her brother happened to have been in his stall last week Friday. Unfortunately, his stall was located near the scene of last Friday's bloody robbery at First Bank in Mile 12. Apparently, the last guy her brother spoke too and the 'Mallam' he have alms just before the shoot-out, were killed. He came out lucky with a leg gunshot wound.

When the bullet was removed, the Surgeon gave it to her and she showed a couple of us in the waiting room. I cringed! I've never seen a bullet before in my life! And here was me looking straight at one! I froze! The bullet was almost half the size of my index-finger in length!

This was what prompted the other lady in the waiting room to talk about the lady and the child with the blood stained clothes. Apparently, the lady and the child were occupants of the burnt bus on the bridge. Whilst waiting for another means of movement away from there, a knife-man appeared from nowhere and started stabbing her. As she tried to escape, she would run back to try and get her daughter who was on her own on the bridge - miracle she wasn't crushed to death! Eventually, she was able to get her and flee but not without severe stab wounds. All this occurred in broad day light!

Yet we are told crime is reducing! How? What yardstick are they using?

May we not be at the right place at the wrong time! Amen o!

Thats all readers.

Have a restful weekend!

Always & Always,

Moi (Real Life Content)

Naija Week 31 - Chopping A La Finger!‏

Hello Folks,

Here's another week's edition of my experiences / life in Las Giddy! Sorry o, lateness was due to being down to the use of ehm 9-fingers! Read On!

Enjoy!

1. Just some remainders from last week's posting! It wasn't difficult to know we were descending into Lagos from my flight from Abuja - the sights that greeted us from above where ones of rusted 'paanus' / 'roofs', brown coloured roads (obviously untarred, muddy) and yellow colours of danfos all over the place. At least if we don come from dat em Lekki side, e for no be like dat!

Also saw the Super Eagles coach - Berti Vogts at the baggage reclaim! He was looking red, casual and very ordinary! I never would have known or guessed it was him if not that someone mentioned it. I didn't see any red carpet treatments for him at the reclaim section either! Wetin the man do now?

2. Picture this: Chopping a la finger! At the weekend, I decided to do some cooking after months of eating out and believe me, I'm getting really tired of eating out everyday and also with the amount its costing me to do so. Anyway, on getting home that evening, I decided I will clean and prepare the 'fowls' I'd bought earlier only if NEPA brought back power supply. Surely, they did within 15minutes of making that wish. So, at around 10.45pm, I got round to the fowls after first sorting out the peppers. After cutting off the dual parts, I moved quickly to the backbone part where the urobo /irobo / furo - which other name now; ehm chicken ‘yansh’ dey, to cut. I raised the knife in readiness to hack the back in one go.

As I did this, na so I begin see red for sink! The knife had landed on my left thumb! I was in instant agony and my finger bled. With the impact of the knife on my finger, I knew it was severe but didn't know to what degree.

For the first time, I missed jand as the first thought that flew across my mind was to dial 999. Anyway, my first call was to jand sha as I just didn't have a clue what to do; more so as it was late at night. For some reason, none of my neighbours were around that night so I couldn't even call on them for help. So I began to make some calls – some people were not in town whilst some people were far from me and others already tucked up in bed.

Now this is Las Giddy, who wants to go out at that time of the day - so there went my first challenge. No one on the other side of the phone could picture the severity therefore offer for pick up to the hozy wasn't forthcoming but I knew I needed to get there.

As my finger continued to bleed and soak through the cloth round it, I started acting rational and the whole picture became surreal to me. I began to clean up the blood on the floor, tried to clean up the kitchen sink too. Even the chicken managed to make it back to the freezer without much ado!

Someone suggested submerging it in cold water - I witnessed the 'miracle of water turning into blood'! It was surreal!

After a while I just broke down in tears as the pain took a different turn. Finally help turned up, as my Uncle took me to the nearest hozy!

On getting to the hozy, it didn’t take much time to see a Doctor. Blood had dripped onto the floor such that after a while, he had to 'wear' a glove for my fingers which ended up collecting blood. I was referred to the theatre for stitches straight up.

On getting to the theatre, my finger had to be numbed via local anaesthetic. Before the man even start, I com dey look round like JJC, I com ask my Uncle say wetin dey won even sew for the finger sef? I ask am if this people even good! I tell the man say there was nothing to sew in my finger! The room no even resemble place wey dey won sew person finger. I com dey wonder if the thing dey won use never expire; and if the thing be genuine! In fact, I wonder about plenty things!

I will never forget the agonising pain I went through as the 'Stitcher' / Surgeon / Doctor (I no know which one the man be jare) injected the LA into my bleeding thumb. On the third jab into my finger, the light went out. I was in terrible pain, my finger still bleeding and NEPA struck - I had to stay still and wailed internally as my Uncle consoled me. The generator came on sha.

Meanwhile, little did I realise that the amount of blood oozing out of my finger, the pain I was going through coupled with the stitching needle going in and out of my finger was making my Uncle light-headed. He almost passed out so he was asked to lie on the bed as I was being attended to. An empty bin was now almost half way full with blood-soaked pieces of dressers used in trying to stop the blood - there was blood everywhere; apparently I had cut through my arteries / blood vessels!

Eventually the LA fully kicked in, so for the first time I was beginning to calm down, meanwhile my finger still bled away all through the stitching! He tried so hard to stop the bleeding but to no avail - my finger will eventually stop bleeding after almost 3hours since the cut and three main attempts to dress it!

Now wen my body don calm down, I come dey calm my Uncle too. I com notice the man in his ehm flip-flop/dunlop/ bathroom slippers! How com this people dey wear this kin thing for work? Na wa o!

Light went out a 2nd time! I com dey wonder wetin pregnant women wey dey inside labour room go do if light comot at the point of pushing - I can't just imagine this! And in both instances, it took a few minutes before light was re-instated!

Anyway, after sewing and re-sewing, the blood com stop. As we won leave the place, na so the pharmacist give me drugs, she com tell me say, I go take two injections. I tell am say I don take anti-tetanus from jand before coming, say I no need am. I hate injections o. Not even 1 injection but 2. Na im my Uncle com calm me say make I take am; im say I need dem. So the woman / nurse com direct us go one place like this wey look like 'shalanga' room. We knock. One woman answer, say make we come in. The woman / nurse sef dey scare me. Na 'ajankolokolo' hairstyle she carry for head - in dis day and age! Anyway sha, I just stand there as she dey prepare the needles. When I ask am where she go give me the injection, she com tell me, a whole lady like me say, make I give am my 'bumbum'! Can you imagine? She just rub the place and na stab she stab me o! In fact, that moment, I reach lower, middle and upper heaven! Oh, did I yell and cry or what! She stab me for hand too and com dey shout say make I take my hand rub my bumbum! Ha, no empathy, no compassion, no jack! I no fit waka after o, I com siddon for bench for a few good minutes before being able to proceed.

We prayed as we headed out. We encountered two police check points - they seemed genuine. We didn't have any issues - thank God! We got home at 2am!

What an experience! I never pray to go through or for anyone to go through this - it wasn't a funny experience. Still I am so grateful to God! I could have easily lost half of my thumb. I came off lightly using a brand new knife with the amount of pressure I'd applied or intended to apply to the chicken backbone.

By the way, what happened to the chopped off bit? I no know o! I think say I don pack am for bin when I was trying to be rationale cleaning up the kitchen! Its all good!

2. Day 156 - Picture this! I went back to the hozy for dressing. Ha, na Dr Cruella dress my finger o. Because my thumb had bled a bit before it stopped, the stitches had come stuck on the dressing and so couldn't come off easily. First, I dey blow grammar, na im I com change to Yoruba. The man com say to me - ha, so 'o gbo Yoruba'. You won't believe that whilst I was still delicately trying to remove it myself, still in much pain, the man literally yanked the dressing off. It was so not funny. The pain was much and I cried. I was so mad at him! So I told him not to touch my finger again and that I was not coming back to the hozy. You know what? He just covered it up and that was it! No apology, no pele, no nothing! He didn’t even say when my next appointment would be!

On my home, needed to refuel the car! As the driver engaged the fuel attendant, I noticed a van with a man in it packed parallel, the van was a ministry van labelled with 'Shalom Ministries' blah, blah. Also, noticed a woman nearby selling what seem to be some porno cards / pictures or something. The lady was now talking to the man and the man was staring at me. Somewhere in my mind, the whole scene was disjointed until I finally pieced it together. The guy was staring at me because he was talking to the lady with the dodgy pictures and thought I was unto him because he was driving a 'church vehicle'. When the lady left, he came out and offered me a tract booklet - said he wanted to bless me! I told him I didn't want it! Na wa ya o! Thou shalt not judge; I didn't judge!

Still on this day, I had to sack my driver after getting home and discovering that he'd marked my car on the house wall - 2nd car marking within 6 days of starting work, and didn't deem it fit to tell me. When confronted, he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about and I was thinking to myself that though I may be in pain - my brain isn't dulled to the extent that I would think a ghost had done it!

3. Day 157 - Heard about the 'Bar Beach' overflowing its bank the previous day. The 'guvnor' and his team even made an appearance! Saw his motorcade on my way to a meeting!

Also, heard about a place called 'Kuramo' on the Island and that a lot of 'evull' (evil) takes place there!

4. Day 158 - Heard on the radio that people will be fined for indecent dressing in Las Giddy! But exactly what constitutes that? My view is that they should go to all this top-notch places and arrest all the women that leave their bxxps hanging out of their clothes, habi! Then they should come and arrest us that like short-skirts! We have more pressing issues, yet someone is worrying about indecency! Money chopping no bi indecency too? Talk about misplaced priorities!

Have you heard of Kannywood? Thats Kano's version of Nollywood! Hmm, soon we would hear of Laggywood, Baddywood, Bujawood, Portywood, Warrywood and so on and so forth! The films from Portywood and Warrywood would be based on 'Oilywood'!

5. Day 159 - I go hozy again for dressing, dey take light 4times within the first 15 minutes wey I reach there! No comment!

6. I see 'Ireke' (Sugar cane) wey Mallam dey hawk for wheel-barrow! Jand people, when last you see Ireke? Me sef, no remember when last I see am or chop am!

I was unprivileged to board a cab with unwanted passengers - 'Eera' (habi, how I go spell am?) Ants in shorts. 'Twasn't pleasant. Wen I tell the cabbie, im tell me say e no know, say na even Oyinbo man im carry before me and dat the Oyinbo no complain! Exactly, wat is that supposed to mean? Of course, Oyinbo man go happy say im dey see 'zoo' creatures for free; black man no go happy because im dey live with and dey see these creatures daily!

And that’s all! Enjoy the rest of your week!

Always & Always,

Moi (Keeping It Real)

Naija Week 30 - An Abuja Special‏!

Hiya,

Hope you've had a good week. Here's my 7th month blog, crowned with a visit to Abuja!

Thanks as usual for all your emails and comments!

Happy Reading!

1. At the weekend, I decided to warm up a bit of food and forgot all about it. As I wanted to leave the house, an instinct prompted me to just check the kitchen. I did and realised that I had left the pot on the cooker for over half an hour. Strangely, the gas had gone out so the pot wasn't burnt neither was the food warmed. The whole kitchen however smelled of gas by now. Seeing that the food hadn't warmed up because of the gas going out, I still wanted to do this before stepping out. I reached for the lighter, as I was about to ignite it, I just had this unction not to - then I came to my senses that the kitchen was already filled with gas. What would have happened? Or imagine if I hadn't gone to check the kitchen before going out, what could / would have happened. I so thank God for his mercies!

2. Read some news in the dailies that Naija ministers and legislators are the highest paid in the world! How amazing! Dem dey earn more than una jand PM! Habi make I change job?

3. Went past the Chinese embassy the other day and the amount of people in the queue was unbelievable! Naija people dey go anywhere go-able in this world o!

4. Oh, before I forget - My weekend gone was almost like a simulation of living in jand! I practically had un-interrupted power supply over the weekend up until when I left the house on Monday morning! Such was this wonder that I watched TV / DVD from 7.30pm Friday evening until Saturday 2.30am! What a wonder! It just has never occurred in my entire 7months!

5. Picture this - Day 151 to 155: An Abuja Special!

I made a cab reservation to the local airport for a 5.45am Monday morning pick up. At the scheduled pick up time, I called up the cab driver to enquire of his whereabouts. He told me he was still home, meanwhile my flight was at 6.50am! I was instantly annoyed wondering what he was playing at. I asked what time he intended to reach me and he couldn't answer, instead he told me that he wasn't going to come pick me up anymore. He went off on one that he was not my mate so I had no reason to query him blah, blah! For someone who wanted to collect premium rate for the service, I couldn't understand his actions. Anyway, I got off the phone completely disoriented! How was I to reach the airport? As I left the house contemplating how to make the 20minute walk to the nearest point of civilisation from my abode, I saw my neighbour leaving for work and got a ride to the nearest plausible place to get a cab. I got off but it was all still pitch black. My God, I was a bit scared as the danfos came and went; people hopped on and off; conductors stopped / shouted in my face hoping that I would get on! Flagging a cab down was difficult as I couldn't see much coupled with the fact that I had my laptop and a luggage to hang onto. My ordeal finally ended about fifteen minutes later when I boarded a cab. I managed to make it to the airport at the nick of time and even had some few minutes to dig into my nicely packed yam and egg brekkie! I sent the cab driver a text message before deleting his number!

The flight and service was good - I was very impressed! It was my 2nd time of ever flying anywhere within Naija!

On landing, my colleagues and I headed out to get a hotel. One of the hotels taken to was a 'christian' hotel and the first criteria on their list was that you had to be 'born again'! Meanwhile the hotel was crap! After they checked out a couple of hotels, they decided to settle for the xtian one. My search continued. After checking out the 4th one or so, I decided to just take it so that we could proceed to the program we'd come for.

At the end of a long and tiring day, I went back to my hotel and the horror of my choice began to unravel before my very eyes! The room stank of this terrible incense / odour or something. I felt nauseous and disgusted immediately; developed a sore throat too. Then I noticed that the towel had been placed on top of this brown sticky substance on the table. Then I noticed how grubby the room was, with filthy and misplaced blinds; rusty and unclean windows! Then I noticed the torn pillow case! Then I noticed the black grouts! Then I noticed the unclean walls! Then the light went and was told the generator usage was timed and wouldn't come on until much later!

As I found it in myself to sit on the bed, a couple of tears dropped from my eyes as I tried to envisage how I was going to survive in this place for the next 4 nights! I thought and almost decided on heading for the airport back to Lagos! Then I began to miss my days of being on the field and living it up in all those posh-nosh hotels around the UK!

In trying to engage myself, I decided to prepare for the next day and asked for an iron. I was told I had to pay for the service / pay to use the iron even if I wanted to DIY - I ditched the idea when I saw the state of the other places around the hotel and the calibre of people about the place! It was BAD!

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, so I went to check out and asked for a refund - thankfully I got my money back. I checked out but still had to spend the night there since there wasn't anywhere just yet to stay et al. Luckily, after sending out some SMS (Save My Sanity) messages and calls, my colleagues and some people came to my rescue to search for another place. After the 8th hotel or so, I found a really lovely place - damned the company's hotel allowance and paid the excess myself!

Anyway, I still had to go back to my horror room for a 1-night sleep! There was no water in the toilet and even if there was, you could only attempt flushing via a string that had been attached to the flusher. The rug had gone beyond colour-reasoning and I couldn't even place my feet on it directly!

I couldn't use the blanket placed on the bed, neither could I place my head directly on the pillow! I had to place my shirt on the pillow before I could put my head on it! I had to use my skirt to cover the bit of my legs that my nightshirt didn't cover!

As I lay there, a car came round about 11.30pm blasting music. When that died down about 30minutes later, I started hearing people chatting and parambulating along the corridor near my room at around 12.15am! Parambulating and hearing them flip-flopping!

You can guess that I didnt't get much sleep! Just when I was about to start dozing off, na so, I com dey hear call for morning prayers from the tannoys before 5am! I gave up on the idea of sleep! Then I saw a small roach in the bathroom tub! Though I had already given up on the idea of a bath in this place, my decision was further buttressed by this scene! The shower head was missing and all that was left for usage was a dirty looking bucket and bowl! Strangely however, there was hot water, even though there was no boiler in sight!

About 6.30am, after enduring the smell all night, I suddenly had a stomach churn with an urgent need to use the bathroom! I com dey pray say make the thing go away. This was my worst fear! I didn't have any time to deliberate as my tummy was seriously on a sudden brink of disruption! I humbly and quickly had to perch on the toilet bowl o in order to use it!

I dressed up in the previous days clothing and checked out without a thought to have a bath. I headed to the newly booked hotel and cleaned up there!

At this point I wasn't loving Abuja for a second!

The exhibition was great for the entire duration and we got fed well - very well indeed; only I went through an entire pack of Loperamide (for Diarrhoea)! Food and drinks were in excess - well na petrol money sha! The event organisers even hosted a dinner on Day 152!

Day 153 - Ooh lala! I saw LONDON BLACK CABS in Abuja! It was surreal!

Day 154 - weather was forecasted to be a very sunny day instead it turned out to be a completely wet day! Well what can I say? Even that famous British forecaster (no be Michael Fish)got it very wrong a few years ago!

We wanted to buy some 'Kilishi' (not sure of the spelling), little did we realise that parking near the sellers will invite all of them round the car literally sticking their meat in our faces! As the windscreen on my side was down, I suddenly had different hands sticking their meat in my face. I didn't and couldn't buy any from the scenario presented before me!

My best bet and outing during this trip was a visit to the market where they sell jewellery! The flight back was equally smooth but it took forever to get our luggage out. It didn't take a second for us to know that we were back in Las Giddy!

My take and highlights of Abuja - its clean, well planned, no pollution, has good road networks, good drainage system, no crazy Las Giddy traffic replicated here, no crazy Las Giddy flooding (at least I didn't see any), the place is expensive, lovely environment to raise up kids, et al.

Somehow, I found myself missing Las Giddy! I was counting down to going back home! What is it about this place called Lagos? Any ideas?

So there goes details of my week!

Y'All have yourself a restful week!

Always & Always,

Moi (Always Keeping It Real!)

Naija Week 29

Hi Everyone,

I trust you are all doing great. Amazing how this year seems to be rapidly moving towards December! May God continue to keep us safe and sound!

Here's my piece for Week 29!

Enjoy!

1. Well, what can I say? I came to jand, left and the whole time seemed to have ran by! My trip and prep to the airport was stressful. I almost missed my flight and in fact my luggage was tagged the last bag - can you believe that; had excesses too and I'm sure my hand luggage would have easily weighed about 25kg - still God's mercy prevailed! Anyway, the flight was quite smooth but unfortunately I couldn't get much sleep due to cramps in one leg, even though I had a row of 3 seats all to myself! I'm not rested and sure could do with another holiday - yeah right! But I honestly mean that!

Thanks to all that had an impact in making my stay pleasurable, enjoyable and memorable!

Did I enjoy Jand thoroughly: Yes; Do I / Did I miss Jand: No! If for nothing else but for the unpredictable weather and the credit system!

2. I was met with electricity supply on getting home, almost for the entire day. I was utterly shocked! 'Twas an amazing welcome home gift!

3. Day 146 - I was in traffic (nothing new here) and saw a man who looked quite engrossed in what he was saying to his female passenger, only his female passenger seemed fast asleep and unattentive to him! Maybe na man / woman palava!

4. Currently wearing a pink and burgundy hairdo, so been in pinkies all week. Its been met with utter astonishment, gazes, glances, stares and nice comments!

5. Did I mention that some of my colleagues had been a bit apprehensive that I might not come back from Jand? In fact, some of them thought I had left purely because its unheard of to take time off within the first 6months of employment in Naija. Surely, this policy has to be revisited!

6. Picture this: had a hairdo, eye brow shaping, manicure and pedicure for well less than 10 pounds!

7. Day 148 - Went for a meeting and I had to walk up to the 8th floor because their lift was acting psychotic! I was besides myself for the rest of the day! Well, I'd rather be besides myself than the alternative!

8. Saw a chinko driving a danfo-type vehicle with passengers fast asleep in it. Habi, im get driver job? In the same vain, I saw an Oyinbo woman on an Okada as a passenger! She don acclamatise be that o!

9. Day 149 - My 1st real taste of customer service in Las Giddy! I went to return an item that I'd purchased from a store about 2months ago, which was faulty and got my money back in full! I am and was so impressed! Bravo!

10. Saw a number plate reading DH666GGE!

11. Picture this: you buy a brand new car in Naija and then you have to spend so much etching the registration number all over anything etchable on the car! Do people really go about stealing windows, mirrors et al and even if thats the case, where do you begin to search if they go missing!

12. One of my colleagues told me that there is a hotel in Abuja where if a man and woman are to share a room, they ask them to present their marriage certificate! Dat one be abolition of fornication and adultery o!

But hem, my people, if na two men nko? Dey for ask them for marriage certificate too o because of the kin thing wey dey happen in dis our generation.

Thats all! Have a rested weekend!

Always & Always,

Still Keeping It Real!