Naija Week 20

Dear All,

5 months! Can you believe it? How time flies! So sorry o my people for the delay - just been utterly chaotic these last few days! Still, here goes!

1. Made my debut fuel purchase using a plastic keg - was scared to death as I placed it in the trunk of my car and then later at home under the stairs. Didn't sleep well for the number of days it spent under the staircase!

2. Day 96 - Had an ad hoc holiday declared on Monday 28th! We didn't know about this holiday until late into the weekend. Don't I just love Naija!

3. Day 97 - Saw a girl drawing up water from a 'conga' (well); I was in shock as I didn't think / know that wells still existed in this day and age!

4. So much for customer service: Made some purchase from one of the leading supermarkets in Lagos and on the receipt were these words: No refund; No exchange; No guarantee! I wonder why they bothered giving out receipts in the first place as it is utterly pointless!

5. FBN are selling shares at the moment and as part of their advertising campaign, there are large elephant prints all about Lagos roads! How about that for free advertising! Truly, this is Las Giddy where the unthinkable takes place!

6. Day 99 - Picture this! I went for one of my numerous meetings. On asking if I wanted a drink, I said yes and requested for Malta Guiness (my beloved drink!). So, MG was bought and brought to me! It was even a canned version which I've not had or seen since I arrived in Las Giddy.
As I sat through my meeting and sipping my drink, I just noticed some stuff at the bottom of the glass! I examined it closely and to my horror, there were more stuffs swimming at the bottom. I ran out of the room straight into the bathroom retching! It wasn't funny - they all just laughed at me whilst I sat there feeling so irritated with goose bumps all over me! Steered clear of MG since especially anything canned!

7. Day 100 - my driver didn't turn to work and hasn't come to work since he got his wage on day 99. Guess what? I just took to the road again especially after vowing the last time he went AWOL that no driver will hold me ransom again in this Lagos.

8. Saw a stark naked insane man on the famous bridge! Not a nice sight. As I sat in my seat, I just wondered who may have 'done him' to become like this!

9. Went for lunch at Chicken Republic on Day 99; and whilst I had the best fries and chicken here since I arrived in Las Giddy, the place was packed with flies. It was surreal and irritating - spent more time wading them off than on the food to be eaten! So much for hygiene! Health and Safety officers will have no jobs in Naija!

10. Fuel price has been hiked to N75 per litre!

11. Fancy this! Attended an interview! Waited for almost four hours, got interviewed at almost 10pm and got home at past 11pm! Does this, can this happen in jand?

Thats all folks for my '5 trying months' in Naija - still I'm glad to be back home. Awaiting your comments!

Thanks once again for your readership!

Always & Always,

Lola (Real Life Content)