Naija Week 17

Howdy,

Here's Week 17 report! Apologies for the lateness - just didn't have enough time to put it together on Friday!

Comments welcome on the blog site! Cheers!

Enjoy!

1. Had a demo / presentation the other day and one of the Consultants (from 1 of the top 5 firms) pronounced Cisco as 'Shishco'. All efforts to get him to call it right was unsuccessful! This same man has some serious 'ila' (marks on his face). I didn't know people were still defaced in recent times! Na wa o!

2. Witnessed another brawl! This time around it was between two drivers, with one of them carrying some Chinese occupants. The poor people just watched on as these duo brawled on!

3. Bought my first 'pirated' DVD from a shop. It was a step taken out of fear of dying of boredom and I was nowhere near a place I could buy an original I think! In fact, there seems to be more of such around than anything else! You see DVDs of films yet to be shown or currently showing at the cinemas being hawked. Familiar sights are 12 in 1; 8 in 1; 6 in 1 DVDs! Never saw a 12 in 1 DVD before! The irony of it is the visual and sound clarity; even the subtitles are grammatically right!

4. Ha! Confession time! Had 3 bottles of Malta Guiness on a chill-out-evening over a 3-hour period! Never had that much before in one day! Truly record breaking for me!

5. Money gets expended so easily in Naija and at times or even most times, you won't be able to put your finger on where the money has gone!

6. Did I mention to you that the 'bestest' porridge I've had so far has been from Muchies? Oh, yes, from Munchies; so much so that I'm always mad at them when I go for lunch and they are out of it! In the same light, one of the worst places for customer service is TFC! I tell you, its non-existent in most places here. The attendant can abuse you; even gate man sef fit abuse you if you no take care!

7. Day 82 - was able to sign to MSN from the office after 4months of trying and giving up! Oh, what things I took for granted in jand!

8. Observation: Most places where refuse is being dumped in Las Giddy is where signs are erected saying 'Strictly no dumping of refuse'! What an irony! Seems like the culprits enjoy defying authority! Well, its either that or they are not paying their 'Council tax'!

9. Picture this - what do you do when you are in motion and your driver says e wan piss? Obviously, you give him the chance to express himself. So, he gets down to piss and comes back to the car to continue driving with you knowing fully well that he hasn't washed his hands and you are next in line to get in the car to drive it when he's gone! Well, I chose to pass on the driving!

10. Twice this week, I was home at 6.45pm (left work at 5pm) on Monday and Friday - never happened since I came! The earliest I've ever been was at 6.30pm and then my household were worried that something must have gone wrong for me to get home that early! Took me three hours to get home for the remaining nights!

11. Day 84 - Picture this:

At 6.40am, witnessed another mass transit bus ablaze on the famous bridge! 'Twas completely engulfed!

At 2.30, was going to lunch and then for a customer meeting and inadvertently took a 1-way. Needless to say, we were caught and the traffic people razed to get the driver to stop! Because of his slowness however, the tyres were close to being punctured by the nail devices they had ready made. Luckily, the driver got his act together and stopped to prevent the nails from puncturing the tyres! Anyway, before I knew what was happening, one the wardens got in the car and started shouting blah, blah. He asked for the drivers licence. He asked if he was a first time offender and when he answered yes, he was told that he would take his licence details for registration at their office so that his details can be noted if he re-offends anywhere within the Island.

Before we got to their office, the driver tried a few times to persuade the guy to stop for us to 'negotiate' but it fell on deaf ears. Then I wondered if it was the driver who was going to pay the bribe or myself since he'd decided to become a negotiator! I offered my drivers licence details to be taken down and presented rather than the drivers details to prevent any punishment that may cost him his livelihood. Anyway, as soon as we got to their office, it was almost like some eye-contact had been made with the others. People swarmed round, whilst someone else took the car details down. We got down and before I knew what was happening, the guy that brought us had disappeared whilst someone handed me a fine. Before then however, I saw it coming that they will request for the car keys and knowing the drivers slowness (especially from the army experience 2 weeks ago), I had quickly taken it off him. Lo and behold they started demanding for the car keys. I said it was with me since I own the car and not the driver. They then threatened to puncture all the tyres. I told them I needed to go to the bank to get money for the fine! They said I should write a cheque for the driver to go and cash it. I said I wasn't doing that! I got angry and left to sit in the car. Then I called my manager to send me some money as I didnt have enough on me for the fine. Whilst waiting for the money to be delivered, some chaps came to me again wanting to make shakara blah, blah. As I explained to the calmer one that I was waiting for the fine money, he told the other one to calm down and they left. It turns out they had contemplated puncturing all the tyres throughout the time I was sat in the car. When I had the payment, I went and dumped it on their desk and walked off. They called back for me to wait for the receipt but I didn't budge or look back, so they got the driver to come for it.

As I sat pondering what had just happened, I was glad for two reasons - met an official who didn't want a bribe for the 1st time. I was at fault, so I had to pay the penalty - fair enough. Secondly, though the fine was high by Naija standards, I quickly remembered how high speeding or bus lane fines can be in jand! What I however didn't like was the warden's fib to get us to the station. He should have clearly stated that he was taking us in to be fined rather than saying the driver will only be cautioned. Las Giddy for you o!

I stilll went to have my porridge with the last change on me before heading for my meeting, as I was determined not to let the experience mar my day! You won't believe that by the time I was going past the route again, traffic was bi-directional!

At 5.35pm, as I sat in traffic on my way home, I just saw some grubby hands grab my window asking me to produce N5k or else. The guy had something tucked up on the inside of his pants that he pointed my attention to - didnt know whether it was a real or fake gun, knife or stick. In innocence and reality of my situation plus reflex, I yelled back that I didn't have N5k, since I had used all the money on me to pay the fine. As soon as I said this, I just quickly wound up the window (which was only slightly open). As I shouted to the driver to move the car, the guy left. I looked to see where he was going or if there was more of them or something; he continued to look at me as I stared back too until he disappeared. Then it dawned on me that that was an attempted robbery attack! Thank God for his mercies and faithfulness! Then I began to shake!

Meanwhile, during a conversation on Friday morning, it turned out that a lady I was offering a lift to work for the week, who hadn't show up on Thursday morning at the designated pick up spot had been robbed that morning on her way to meeting up with me. Everything on her was snatched by some Okada riders.

That was the summary of my Thursday - Day 84!

Have a splendid, fulfilling and terrific week. Keep holding on and never give up!

Week 18 coming up!

Always & Always,

Lola