Naija Week 13

Hello All,

Here's my Naija Experience for Week 13! Enjoy!

1. Developed a big postule on my forehead and a friend called it a unicorn! For me it was a SoS - Sign of Stress! Took a few good days with prayers before it finally vamoosed!

2. Attended my first ever fashion catwalk show over the weekend. It was very interesting! I tell you, Nigerians are becoming more creative and shockingly daring!

3. Day 60 - Good Friday! I was one step away from dying of B& L!

4. Day 61 - Family quanta don start!

5. You never know when you will get paid at work. Its so terrible salary payments are often late by almost a week. Just when I thought such things didn't happen again. My people its not funny o!

6. Braced myself for my 2nd driving attempt in Naija on Day 61. Went to re-fuel the car and didn't know where / how to open the tank. Luckily, the pump assistant beat me to it and saved me a whole load of embarrassment. Still on this day, so bored was I that I decided to handwash my car myself! It was an experience seeing a 'Sisi' do this chore! This is a very rare sight in Naija!

7. Still going downmarket, that is, cabbing to and from work!

8. Day 63 - Picture this! Had to board a cab as mentioned and the inevitable happened whilst on 3rd mainland bridge - flat tyre! Haya! E no funny o! The driver com park on the lane wey near the water side; anywhere I look na jus water I dey see - meanwhile I no fit swim. I com comot for the moto feeling confused. I bring out my phone to dial 999, then I remember say na Naija proper I dey. Then I wan call AA, then I com to my opolo (senses) dat na Naija proper proper I dey. Then I begin flash down cars wey dey pass, to beg anyone wey go stop carry me comot for the bridge, when fear grip wen the bridge begin to shake / vibrate. My God! Then I com realise say standing behind the cab na dangerous place to be, so I go stand for the front! Somehow, I begin calm small small telling myself say na morning, in the daylight and dat hope dey to comot from there in one peace. If na night time, my people, I go don run comot from there! True, true; because hope no dey wen you break down for 3rd mainland bridge for night - then you need the mercy of God a 100 times more! Anyway, before further fear go let me begin piss on myelf, the driver say e don finish make I enter car again! Na waya o! Thank God for his mercies!

9. 2 days of public holidays got declared half way through the day on Wednesday because of the forthcoming elections even though they are taking place on Saturdays; so this week has ended up being a 2-day working week! This can ONLY happen in Naija! Don't you just love it!

10. Got to present my 7-digit cheque on Day 64. Even me sef ready to gazump dem now if better com my way! Dat na d Naija style!

11. Acquired my Naija Driving Licence on Day 65 without doing a test or going to the DL office! Wished jand could operae this way, wouldn't have failed my test 3 times before finally passing those years ago! Ha, Naija sha!

12. Guber elections dey take place tomorrow - Saturday 14th!

Thats all folks! Take care and have a lovely weekend! Remember to post your comments at the blog site!

Always,

Moi