Hiya,
Many thanks for all your email support. For those who have been requesting for some Naija pictures, abeg hold fire until I get my camera sent from jand. I’ve seen some sights that can only be believed when you see the pictures. In the meantime, keep reading my text versions!
Enjoy and don’t forget to blog it at http://lagosdiary.Blogs4Rus.com. Spread the word too!
1. Day 21 - I was taken to a ‘Bukka’ for lunch when I expressed a deep desire to have ‘poundo’ for lunch. Boy, was it good or what! Na the 2nd day I come pay the heavy price for eating bukka food. Na so I come go meeting o, when I dey come back, my bele come dey do sumo wrestling! Haya, I pray to God to help me hold myself together before I go reach toilet o. Traffic come plenty - my people, I prayed harder. I now no fit talk again for the moto wey I dey with my oga. I come dey fear say make fine lady like me no go go baraje for moto! Na toilet I first run to when we got back to the office even before anyone could say jack robinson. Me and bukka no be friends again!
2. I saw famous ‘RMD at church! Yes, at church! Men, the guy don grow old o! Nasoso white bear-bear fill hin irugbon! I see am like this with my korokoro eyes. He too come look me proper before him comot him eye. I turn back later my people and na so I catch this man still they look at me. I tell you last week say Naija people no dey stare, rara, they STARE instead!
3. Na so I come see ‘chinko’ dey ride okada! Still on this okada issue, na him I come see 4 people on one okada! Na wa o! This one na real economies of scale!
4. I saw a guy in a shirt and jumper in this terrible heat! So much for fashion! It won’t take long before he develops B.O if he continues to dress like this!
5. Men, you wont recognise me at the end of my working day. Even me sef no dey recognise myself anymore because of sweat, so much so that my sweat these days often taste like an over-salted water!
6. For you Keifer Sutherland lovers - dem dey hawk ‘24′ for Obalende!
7. Imagine this: alot of cars some of us left behind - some 15 / 20 gbogboro years before we left for jand are still on the roads today.
8. I’m beginning to prefer slow traffic at times than to be at the mercies of dare-devil cab drivers!
9. Fancy your cab being sandwiched between two awful and gigantic lorries? This was a stance the stupid cab driver took on day 21. He was actually contending with them! My people, I begin speak in tongues quick quick!
10. I witnessed a leaflet distribution that entailed being thrown or even flung into cars that were unfortunate to have their windows open! What a style! Talk about being crass!
11. Pollution is on another level in Lagos! Abeg, forget Kyoto agreement! This one na Lagos agreement!
12. You have to be extra, extra vigilant when buying fuel in Lagos! You can be sold N300 fuel in place of N3000! So many people have fallen victim to this prank, where your tank is filled with air! I’m sure the word ‘corruption’ was coined in Naija!
13. I saw an advert on a portable loo read ‘We don’t smell the shit, we smell the money’! What a line!
14. Hurray, for the first time since I started work, I got home at 7am - the earliest ever on day 22!
15. I awoke with over 9 ‘major’ mosquito bites on my body over the weekend. It was so bad that I had blood stains on my arms which must have arisen when I was fighting them at night. The A/C had stopped functioning due to the power surges, so they came out with a vengeance! Afterwards, I gave up the room to go sleep in the living room. The next day I refused to sleep there until the room and entire house had been sanitised with mosquito spray!
16. Na so one of the managers come work with him slippers. He’d forgotten his shoes at home and had to go the store to buy a new pair! He was the joke of the day!
17. Had an okada accident on day 22 on way from work. I was in a car with some other colleagues when an okada man rode into us whilst facing the opposite direction doing ‘amebor’! He was lucky our car was stationary when we where hit. Thank God for his mercies!
18. One of my colleagues was robbed at Apongbon. Though, his windscreens were all up, one of it was still smashed to get access to him and the other occupants. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
19. Day 23 - Valentines day! The day Lagos came to a halt! Valentine fever gripped the entire place. Love was in the air. Traffic was extra BAD because of valentine. I went to a bank meeting and love songs were being aired. The eateries were jammed packed with people doing love wantintin! I didnt know that people were so crazy about such an event! In fact they are not only referring to it as 1-day thing but it is being referred to as the ‘valentine season’. Some people even dressed differently to work today. There were decorations all over the place - hotels, schools, eateries, shopping malls, cinemas et al! The radio talked about nothing else but LOVE! Went for a bank meeting and love songs was being aired on the radio! Roses were sold at food joints! The mobile network was jammed! Unbelievable!
20. Did I mention getting home very early on point 14? I spoke too soon - got home at 10pm on day 23 because of Valentine’s day! Day 24 was similar too. So tired was I when I got home that what was intended to be a sprawl on the bed ended up being a proper sleep-off (hunrun!). I shut my eyes for a 2nd and the next time they were opened was at 1am - gone through the whole day without any proper food. My neck look like tolotolo neck now!
21. I don’t recollect meeting electricity supply from those ’stupid’ people called NEPA or PHCN since I’ve been back from jand! And they want to do e-vote when they even can’t get common electricity to work consistently!
22. Picture this: na him I come go meeting with my Oga dem and one Oyinbo man wey be our work partner. I wear gogoro dat day my people. Na him I won cross gutter wey get slats on top am to get to where the door dey. All these Naija men wey no be gentlemen don come pass me leaving me behind. No body look behind to see whether I fit pass with my gogoro or not. Thank God o for Oyinbo man! Na d man come hold my hand as I dey shake in my gogoro when I won cross the gutter! Na wa ya o! When they come look back, they come dey laf tire at me.
Thats all for week 5! Expect more of my Naija experiences for week 6! Enjoy your week!
Always,
Lola
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