1. Crazy traffic and manic driving.
2. To let someone get ahead of you in traffic is considered an abject stupidity on your behalf.
3. There is poverty, I mean abject poverty!
4. Was depressed, down and out by day 2 such that I didnt want to get out of bed let alone go to work. Wanted to run back to London - at least I could call in sick and blame stress for it if I was still back in London!
5. Got asked for a loan of N200k by someone from the office after 2.5days of being there! I must look like a money machine!
6. Got a fraud text on day 2 that I had won N547k. The foolish thing was I kind of believed I may have indeed won and felt God’s graciousness crowning my Naija arrival. Thank God for instinct and the internet to check such things out .
7. The internet link is painfully slow!
8. Turned a few heads on day 3 when I walked down the road with my puffy, blood shot eyes and with no make up. Men must be blind!
9. Naija is expensive!
10. Just when I thought getting home at 6pm in London was unholy, how do I classify getting home at 9.15pm, after leaving for work at 5.45am on a daily basis?
11. An absurdity - there are no bins let alone sanitary bins in any of the toilets at work, no soaps too and even no water yesterday which almost caused me a mini embarrasment. I requested the bin issue to be rectified which is being looked into. On discussing this outside of work, I was reminded of how fetish Naija is and that the ladies may probably prefer to dispose the towels themselves. But to where? Does that mean they keep all soiled towels in their handbags all day until they get home? Na wa o! Question is, what will I do? Answer is flush down the toilet as suggested by someone! So, I tried it out and ended up praying and begging God for it to get flushed when it refused to go. Then, there is no soap to wash your hands after use and the inside of their toilet is black! Then the water had ‘tanwiggi’ in it. So its a no win situation!
This is Lagos proper. Been having to go to eateries and customer sites to make the most of their restroom facilities! Suddenly that is a luxury!
12. Saw a man the other day at night whilst going home pull down his pants to reveal his backside. I was told he was about to do the ‘big job’ on Eko bridge! Never mind his life at risk!
13. Went for a meeting at one of the major banks and was the only lady amongst nine men! Macho world but I was not intimidated! I just dey blascatter fonetics!
14. People dont talk for more than two minutes on the phone! Hey, I miss T-mobile o!
15. Lagos people dress well and very smart. Avoid Jermyn street next time! In fact, I have some serious competition at hand!
16. Discovered ‘bxxxx number 1′ (please excuse the phrase) at work! If she thinks I’m competition now, what would she think when I start declaring?
17. Been wearing the same pair of shoes all week to work! I never thought I could survive in Stilettos! Kakakoko, kokoka!
18. Heard a blunder over the radio the other day. The present could not get the word ‘decapacitated’ out of his mouth right. It was real bad, I mean terribly bad!
19. We have daily devotion at work at 8am.
20. There’s a London aspirant in the team. He’s always dreaming of the great place!
21. Can you believe I get cold chills, in Nigeria? I’ve even been wearing a vest under my long sleeve shirts to work and was craving for my socks the other day. Miraculous!
22. Not had a mosquito bite yet!
23. I think the laptop bag I’ve been given by the office is fake.
24. And lastly, just had someone doze off with some serious snoring. I requested for a bucket of cold H2O.
26 Jan 2007 03:51 pm
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