Naija Week 23

Howdy Y'All,

Another late entry - so sorry! As you know the country came to a stand still last week, nevertheless here goes!

Happy Reading!

1. Ha, I ventured to the market for the first time to try and buy some peppers - 'twas an experience. The tomatoes are usually numbered for sale; and you can be guaranteed that for every 5 tomatoes per sale, one was rotten! Should have just stuck to my good old fashioned tomato plum, which I had already sourced from a supermarket but didn't use after a friend gave me a rollocking for wanting to use 'artificial tomatoes' in Naija.

What I couldn't fathom was how I was going to get my mind past buying the tomatoes that seemed ladened with flies. Anyway I did!

2. Then I hit someone over the weekend and thought I killed her! Had to pass through some tight spot and didn't realise a girl had decided to squeeze past me, so my side mirror bruised her shoulder in the process. As this happened, my mirror fell out and so I didn't see anything else except for the thud I'd heard. Meanwhile, I had just yelled at the Okada man behind me for bumping me. He was carrying a couple of policemen. So as soon as this occurred, they asked me to park the car. Then I thought to myself - 'wi pe, mo ti da ran'! As I stepped out of the car, the policemen had gone, all they were concerned about was for me not to block the road. Anyway, my attention quickly turned to the girl who was crying, so I asked for the nearest hospital to take her. Her mum was at the scene by now and mentioned to take her to the chemist near the road instead. So I got them into the car, drove to the chemist, bought and paid for pain killers and relief cream. Thank God, it was just a bruise!

On narrating my experience later on to friends, I was told that I got away lucky, that people use accidents as a money making business in Naija, that some people will throw themselves infront of moving vehicles and milk you dry in the process of their 'recovery'!

3. Severe fuel scarcity hit yet again - the worst since I've been around. The country literally grounded to a halt. NLC was on strike too and so we had 3 workless days! Splendid!

Results were achieved eventually - VAT was dropped back to 5% from the 10% sudden increase and fuel dropped to N70 from N75. 10% and we dey complain - No be 17.5% we dey pay for jand?

People and businesses endured a lot of hardship during this period, still Nigerians managed not to go to work over the 3days but had enough fuel to attend 'afefeyeyes' over the weekend! And here was me worrying over the standstill - some parties no stand still o for the weekend! Na real wa!

4. Day 111 - I finally managed to do some petty cooking - 1st ever since arriving in Las Giddy and had to get up at 3.30am to re-heat the food to prevent it from spoiling since I'd been without electricity supply for days! Then, awoke and cooked some rice at 5.15am - had rice for brekkie! Oh God, I'm losing my poshness!

I tell you, I think this is one of the hardest to get accustomed to, living a life outside of constant electricity supply! It is just plain hard! Whilst I'm used to not having light, food preservation is a big issue. I had to eventually chuck out the bits and bobs I had bought and placed in the freezer due to no electricity supply!

5. Picture this - Bought a couple of fans! Na so, I conclude say Naija DIY different from jand DIY o. It took forever to get a hang of its assembly! Neither was there any DIY tools enclosed with the packaging!

6. Forgot to mention, I went to the bukka again - you know the one I had mentioned previously that I think my tummy was getting used to! Na so, me and my Oga wan chop poundo! Men, for the first time, I was privileged to see it being made and I was utterly disgusted, so much so that my tummy began to revolt just from the sight. I couldn't eat and didnt order any food, meanwhile I was starved beyond reasoning that day! I just knew eating the food will render me incapacitated for days! Thats it - don't think I can ever eat there again! My Oga chop sha and nothing do am!

7. Day 112 - Ditched the car at home and had to cross 10-highway lanes to board a cab! I was scared out of my socks! Forget pedestrian foot bridge! Non-existent!

8. Still on Day 112 - shortly after boarding the cab on my way to the office, I saw a swollen dead body by the way side. I was horrified, shocked and traumatised for the rest of the day. It turns out the body had been there for a few days. Another soul gone with no accountability!

9. I've gone without watching TV consistently for 5 weeks now! Now which of you can do without it for that long? So bad was the situation of me knowing what was happening in the country during the strike period that I had to be getting the news from the workman on the street, since he had a battery radio! This is what a lack of electricity supply does to you! Its all good sha.

I'm still here and trusting God that it will get better. Home Sweet Home!

Take care, take it easy and have a splendid week ahead.

God Bless!

Always and Always,

Lola (Real Life Content)

Naija Week 22

Hi All,

Sorry for the lateness of this blog - not to worry, I don't have much to report on for Week 22. The week is however filled with 1st time achievements in famous Las Giddy!

Enjoy!

1. I witnessed for the first time police shooting! They were transporting money and were shooting into the air to scare off any potential robbery attempts! I was scared and gobsmacked, I was frozen to my bones!

2. Ha, wore a pair of trousers for the first time since I arrived in Las Giddy. Everyone around me sure noticed and commented. You won't believe how much I've been feeling quite cold; so bad was it one day at the office that I wore a pair of socks as my feet and hands went numb!

3. Finally, braved the weather and had my hair corn-rowed into 'Ghana Weave'. Had 2-tone colours of blonde and gold. The comments have not stopped flowing since! People have been utterly shocked at the combination but I've been reminding them that its nothing compared to the normal look my folks are used to seeing whilst I was in jand. Looking for my next brain-wave hairstyle!

4. Day 109 - Whilst driving in mad traffic on my way to work, I saw with my very eyes policemen chasing 2 men I think beyond a shadow of a doubt were robbers! They both started running in opposite directions on the famous bridge as the police seemed to cock their guns. My gut feeling about why they were not shot was because of the ugly sight it would have created for those of us around. I think that may have been the catalyst for me to run back to jand!

5. My God, does the famous bridge shake or what! The bridge vibrated so much on one of the days that my stomach took a spinning! Honest, it did! Hey, God o, please get our government to bring Julius Berger to check out the shaking bridge!

6. On Day 107 that the heavens opened up, it took 4hours to get home! The next morning on my way out, I saw a huge advertising bill board that had collapsed onto one of the houses beneath it. The house was rubbled!

7. I think one of the miracles of my time in Las Giddy is trying to fathom how none of the road hawkers have lost their feet (being crushed) whilst sandwiched between cars in traffic trying to sell their wares. I think its an utter miracle!

8. And the other thing I can't understand is how many sirened vehicles we have in Lagos, with all of them wanting to fly through traffic all at the same time, as if the other road users don't have destinations to reach! Na wa! All about money and power in Lagos!

That's all for now! Have a splendid, safe and wonderful week ahead.

Always,

Lola (RLC)

Naija Week 21

Howdy Y'All,

Here's Week 21! Enjoy!

1. Severe fuel strike hit Lagos, such that 10litres of fuel was being sold for N2,500 on the black market! Still people managed to go about their businesses and the roads were incredibly free-flowing! Jand should come and take a cue from us - remembered how the UK crumbled a few years ago after a few days of fuel strike! Resilience is the word!

2. Hurray! Had my 1st successful card swipe at a store!

3. Wala! Found and bought imported Ribena at last, at a decent Naija price! Well, thats still a relative assumption!

4. Experienced my 1st Las Giddy solo night driving!

5. Did I ever mention to you that I pay a monthly income tax of N198.00 only? Not even up to one pound! Ouch, I can hear some of you 40% payers exclaim in agony! E pele o!

6. Day 102 - saw a man driving a car full of restrained and unrestrained chickens! They were his passengers all round! Just not certain how he coped throughout his entire journey; and then you wonder how some diseases come up in Africa!

7. Day 101 - had a panic attack on the famous bridge! 'Twasn't funny; but I managed to get going again shortly after!

8. Witnessed with my korokoro eyes, people queuing to get into the BRT buses during one of the fuel strike days. I was shocked at what I was seeing! People don't line up for anything in Naija, let alone to board a bus! Wonders shall never end! There sure is hope for us!

9. I have not had electricity supply for a second for the last 7days; neither have I had water supply for the last 6days - since supply is dependent on electricity availability! Never thought I'd undergo 'fetching' water in this day and age. I've been eating out for the past 4months! Still, driver-less! Hmm, I guess it makes my Las Giddy story complete!

10. Had a hoodlum approach me in traffic during the week - came to knock on my window sharply. Luckily my windows were up. I wasn't certain of what he wanted as he wasn't selling any wares or anything; plus I hated to guess / assume / mention what I thought he was after. Anyway, I had this danfo driver by my side who now threatened to brush him if he didn't move off. As the danfo driver began to move towards making good his threat, the hoodlum quickly moved as there was suddenly nowhere for him to stand between both vehicles. Thank God for his mercies!

11. Day 104 - Picture this! It took three and half hours to do a 2-mile journey on the Island - it was really bad. It took me 4hours to get home! So bad was it that even good ol' Obj got stuck on the Island traffic for two and half hours according to paper headlines on Friday morning! All because it rained, yet absolutely nothing was the cause of the terrible traffic! Hmm, na wa ya!

And that's all for this week! Have a splendid weekend! Awaiting your comments!

Should anyone of you my beloved readers have any brainwaves of how I can publish this blog, please do let me know. Cheers!

Always & Always,

Lola (Keeping It Real In Las Giddy)

Naija Week 20

Dear All,

5 months! Can you believe it? How time flies! So sorry o my people for the delay - just been utterly chaotic these last few days! Still, here goes!

1. Made my debut fuel purchase using a plastic keg - was scared to death as I placed it in the trunk of my car and then later at home under the stairs. Didn't sleep well for the number of days it spent under the staircase!

2. Day 96 - Had an ad hoc holiday declared on Monday 28th! We didn't know about this holiday until late into the weekend. Don't I just love Naija!

3. Day 97 - Saw a girl drawing up water from a 'conga' (well); I was in shock as I didn't think / know that wells still existed in this day and age!

4. So much for customer service: Made some purchase from one of the leading supermarkets in Lagos and on the receipt were these words: No refund; No exchange; No guarantee! I wonder why they bothered giving out receipts in the first place as it is utterly pointless!

5. FBN are selling shares at the moment and as part of their advertising campaign, there are large elephant prints all about Lagos roads! How about that for free advertising! Truly, this is Las Giddy where the unthinkable takes place!

6. Day 99 - Picture this! I went for one of my numerous meetings. On asking if I wanted a drink, I said yes and requested for Malta Guiness (my beloved drink!). So, MG was bought and brought to me! It was even a canned version which I've not had or seen since I arrived in Las Giddy.
As I sat through my meeting and sipping my drink, I just noticed some stuff at the bottom of the glass! I examined it closely and to my horror, there were more stuffs swimming at the bottom. I ran out of the room straight into the bathroom retching! It wasn't funny - they all just laughed at me whilst I sat there feeling so irritated with goose bumps all over me! Steered clear of MG since especially anything canned!

7. Day 100 - my driver didn't turn to work and hasn't come to work since he got his wage on day 99. Guess what? I just took to the road again especially after vowing the last time he went AWOL that no driver will hold me ransom again in this Lagos.

8. Saw a stark naked insane man on the famous bridge! Not a nice sight. As I sat in my seat, I just wondered who may have 'done him' to become like this!

9. Went for lunch at Chicken Republic on Day 99; and whilst I had the best fries and chicken here since I arrived in Las Giddy, the place was packed with flies. It was surreal and irritating - spent more time wading them off than on the food to be eaten! So much for hygiene! Health and Safety officers will have no jobs in Naija!

10. Fuel price has been hiked to N75 per litre!

11. Fancy this! Attended an interview! Waited for almost four hours, got interviewed at almost 10pm and got home at past 11pm! Does this, can this happen in jand?

Thats all folks for my '5 trying months' in Naija - still I'm glad to be back home. Awaiting your comments!

Thanks once again for your readership!

Always & Always,

Lola (Real Life Content)

Naija Week 19

Howdy Y'all?

Here's Week 19!

Happy Reading!

1. I went out over the weekend and got caught up in road closures because 'Obj' was coming to or going through the Island. Na wa o! Then I began to wonder if that is how they close up all the roads in jand when good ol' Tony is passing through!

2. Wanted to replace my broken wheel spanner and was amazed at the different versions of wheel spanner that were presented to us. It was shocking - Original, Fake, Tokunbo, Local make et al. Just had to make a choice eventually - God help us in the hour of usage need!

3. Does anyone still remember Allenburys Glucose D, Iodine, Dr Brown Sanitary Towel (you won't believe that it is still in that gross looking coloured packaging!

4. Can you believe that on a very bad network day, if you send out text messages in Las Giddy, it may come back undelivered after 3/4 days. So, lesson number 1 - never assume your recipient has received the text message; be mindful before you start to accuse them of not responding!

5. Met a lady who'd finally decided to stay in Las Giddy after absconding back to jand thrice in the past. This time around she plugged her daughter into school and made some other financial commitments so that when the going gets tough she will stick it through! I'm applauding myself here o!

6. I've succeeded in visiting a 'Bukka' without any 'repercussions'! Hurray! But then that can only mean one thing - I'm becoming (but not become truly 100%) Nigerianised!

7. I went to the saloon for a well deserved manicure and pedicure and almost had the cuticle / skin on my big toe slashed off! The pedicurist couldn't even offer an apology after the incidence. It wasn't until her 'Oga' intervened a few times and I commented because I was in pain and also irked! For this, she got some 'Igbaruns' from her Oga because by now she was also now very embarrased by the whole saga!

You will think the episode will catch me a free deal but nay! Full pay was collected o, even after my poor toe continued to bleed for over an hour! Ha, I miss jand and its compensation culture!

8. I finally and truly found 'imported' Ribena, since I arrived here in Las Giddy! The price quoted sent me reeling in anger; I ran away from the shop. The price for the 2litre bottle I saw is the price you would pay for the 5litre bottle in jand. I couldn't see myself paying that price so I'm still Ribena-less; perhaps maybe one day soon enough, I will stop the # and Naira conversion; shame my brain is still on reflex on this conversion matter!

9. Day 91 - my car was hit on the side I was sat by a danfo driver. Luckily, the door wasn't really affected and I was unaffected too! The danfo however felt the impact more! I gave the driver a tongue-lashing!

10. Still on day 91 - I got home and there was no water neither was there electricity. As matter of fact there's hasn't been electricity supply for four days in a row now even up to the time of this writing. Anyway, luckily I had a bucket semi filled with water so I had a good ol' shower leaving just a bit left.

11. Day 92 - Picture this! I awoke thinking those essential supplies would have been back on but alas there was still no water or light and I had to go to work! Thank God o sey I go boarding school - never thought those boarding school skills where ever going to be needed in modern day life. Na so I wake up and I wan use toilet and clean my body too but water no dey. Na so I use only two bowls of water take my bath and use toliet with no water to flush. I tell you Lagos is humbling!

After I almost finished work for the day, na im my Oga come tell me say dey wan me to come dinner with some of our strategic partners wey don come town. I tell my Oga say I no wan go bcos dey tell me very late; I come even tell am say I no bath come work bcos water no dey for house. Dey just laff at me sha.

Anyway, I enjoyed the dinner well, well! Na Pearl Garden we go. There were 11 men to just 1 lady (moi) at the table for the greater part of the evening until another lady joined us. When they asked me if I was intimidated by the number of men around the table, I said to them that I was absolutely not intimidated by their numbers! Na so so, money, money and dollar, dollar we talk about all evening. Dis people sef, dats all dey know!

12. Day 93 & 94 - Let me gloat abit here jare! Was taken to lunch by some friends - one to Yellow Chillies and the other to a place where I had a great pounded yam and efo egusi session - unfortunately didn't catch the name of the restaurant!

13. Day 94 - Saw a man with an extended chin, the extension was like the size of a baby's head. The irony of this scene was that he wasn't begging but trekking along with three other people chatting away and minding their own business! Except of course he was on his way to his favourite spot! In the same vain, I've seen some human deformities that I can't begin to explain or describe - saw a man on Day 95 whose skin was worse than an Albino with a missing eye socket; saw another shortly after whose skin had been touched up by fire! I've wondered how these people incurred such injuries and deformities - just so shocking, it makes you grateful to God.

14. Day 95 - Had police trouble today! Went for funeral and was going in an entourage. As the others made a U-turn, we did just the same only for the police to stop the car saying we'd just taking a wrong turn. Meanwhile, they'd allow the others to go without stopping anyone except us - perhaps because I didn't look dressed for a funeral. On pointing out the sign, there's no way anyone would have noticed the sign except you know the area very well. The sign had been bleached by rain - seemed like the sign had been there since the days of President Murtala M!

Anyway, after talking and much talking all sorts, they requested for the drivers licence. Eventually he succumbed to it. The policeman now left the car, with the driver tagging behind him. Prior to this, the policeman had asked indirectly for a bribe (called it a fine), when I offered him what I was willing to give, he reckoned it was little. The painful thing for me about the whole saga was that my car was just stopped to 'jeun / chop' - they'd literally passed the other cars; more importantly, I'd completely missed a chunk of the ceremony I wanted to attended.

I had to drive off myself leaving the driver there, to see whether I could redeem what was left of the ceremony. Later I came back for the driver, whose licence was eventually released after the officer that took it initially decided to go AWOL on another 'duty'! Frustrating! Got back to the office at 4pm, with my shirt and face looking very harrassed and filthy!

Thats all folks for this week. Do keep the comments coming to the blog site, spread the site details and even the emails!

Have a pleasant weekend!

Thanks again for your readership, its kinda making life bearable for me in Las Giddy!

Always & Always,

Lola (Real Life Content)

Naija Week 18

Hiya,

Sorry for the delay; I got a bit under the weather towards the end of last week, hence why I couldn't publish it on Friday as usual! Was battling severe stress moving to Naija; possible malaria outbreak and the effects of driving through that manic traffic for 2 days!

Thank you all so much for the readership and encouragement. Its amazing how many responses I don't get when published, yet get when I fail to publish as scheduled on Fridays! Thanks a bunch and do keep the comments coming via emails and more importantly to the blog site!

Love Y'All!

Enjoy!

1. In a typical Las Giddy traffic jam you can make the following purchase: you can buy something to freshen your breath; food to eat like bread and butter; sponge to bathe; clothes to wear; slippers for footwear; drinks to quench your thirst; books to read; towel and hankies to wipe sweat; wristwatch for timekeeping; nightgown for napping; fruits for balanced diet; something to beautify your abode; toys and games for the family; iron and ironing board for fresh looks; do charitable works - alms giving; all these in one traffic spot! If you can buy all these in traffic, why bother going to the stores! In short, you can get everything you need to survive/ live from a Lagos traffic! This can only happen in Naija!

2. As some of you know, I've been having some driving health challenges for a while now, hence the non-attempt to even brace the 'Lagos' traffic for any reason. Anyway, I was all dressed up for church service to discover that the driver had not turned up. On the 2nd attempt at calling him he answers my call. I asked where he was and he told me categorically that 'he was in his house resting'! He'd decided to give himself the day off and didn't even have the decency to let me know or even ask if it was ok. So, here I was confused whether I should 'fashy' church or take a cab. I even tried to call the old office driver but he was nowhere near me. In anger and desperation, I told myself that I was going to drive down and that that was the last time any driver will hold me to ransom in Lagos! So, drove I! I went to church and even went elsewhere after wards before heading home. The irony of this trip was that one of the things that had put me off Las Giddy driving was the manic driving. As soon as I hit the highway when I was going in the morning, vehicles began to turn back on themselves. I was panic stricken wondering what was going on. As I wanted to turn back too, I tried to convince myself that perhaps God didn't want me to make the journey but I knew that if I turned back, it will take alot more time and effort to summon up the courage again. So I kept at it, drove through the chaos and got to church. Strangely the service started late which worked out to my advantage.

So it was with this courage that when the back up driver and regular driver didn't show up on 'critical' Monday morning that I got in the car and psyched myself that I was driving to work. I initially considered all my options - take a cab and get my white shirt blackened before I got to work, get beaten by rain et al . And thats what I did! I maintained one lane all through stuck at 50 kmh; so when a BRT bus came hooting for me to get off the lane - I just remained dignified and did not move away.

I'm sure they were all cursing me by the time the driver finally decided to overtake me, after I put on my hazard lights and stopped moving! Did just the same on Tuesday too when the driver still didn't show up!

I made it to work and back in one piece. Thank God! Never take anything for granted, even the smallest of chores in life!

3. Oh, I forgot to mention also that on the unforgettable Day 84 last week, my day started off with my one and only handset dropping into aqua first thing in the morning. It took half the day to finally revive it - thank God for Sony Ericcson make! Thats the only reason I've stuck with this make for so long - seems to bounce back well from dropping in fluids (notice I used the word fluid - you sure do not want to know where else my phones have dropped in the past)!

4. Picture this: Rat poison advertisers usually carry 'dead rats' to advertise their wares in Las Giddy traffic! Very unsightly! Anything goes here to make a sale!

5. Ha, na so, d oga patapata com send one yeye email wey vex me and my oga on Day 87! Anyway, wen e com see say na anger make im send d email and dat e for no even use dat tone, na im e com invite me and two of my oga go restaurant. We go chop lunch for OceanView o! I com tell myself say make d oga dey vex all d time jare so dat he go dey take us go OceanView to render im apology! Don't you just love Naija for what it stands for!

6. Naija fashion don humble me o. Be rest assured someone, somewhere in Naija has at least a precious item you may have in your wardrobe! I used to thrive on knowing that my stuffs were exclusive, but men, the amount of things that were exclusive to me in jand is not exclusive here o! Babes dey shop!

7. Can you picture or remember this? The heavens opened up during the week and guess what sounds I heard as I went past some ponds? Sounds of croaking frogs and toads - I'm sure some of you don't even remember that these animals still exist!

8. Was I complaining about being fined last week for taking the 1-way? Guess what, I witnessed someone's brand new car being towed about 7.30am on Day 88! It was not a funny sight nor conversation going on between the occupants of the vehicle and enforcement / towing agents. Thank God for his mercies - someone else is usually worse off in every situation we moan about!

9. Witnessed yet another brawl - in fact, two this time around; there seems to be a lot of that going on at the moment, habi now S.A.D?

Anyway, the interesting thing about one of the brawls on Day 89 was that one of the men began to hold his 'manhood' - no kidding! It was like he was about to use it as his weapon of war. If I was going to translate the saga, here would be my take on it: I felt the guy was using the possible size of his manhood to threaten the other guy on how mercilessly he was about to fail or win the fight! Or, he could have been swearing, using it as his point of oath; or cursing him; or rubbishing the other guy's masculinity! Only God knows!

And thats it folks! Have a pleasurable week!

Always & Always,

Lola (Still here 'Keeping It Real'!)

Naija Week 17

Howdy,

Here's Week 17 report! Apologies for the lateness - just didn't have enough time to put it together on Friday!

Comments welcome on the blog site! Cheers!

Enjoy!

1. Had a demo / presentation the other day and one of the Consultants (from 1 of the top 5 firms) pronounced Cisco as 'Shishco'. All efforts to get him to call it right was unsuccessful! This same man has some serious 'ila' (marks on his face). I didn't know people were still defaced in recent times! Na wa o!

2. Witnessed another brawl! This time around it was between two drivers, with one of them carrying some Chinese occupants. The poor people just watched on as these duo brawled on!

3. Bought my first 'pirated' DVD from a shop. It was a step taken out of fear of dying of boredom and I was nowhere near a place I could buy an original I think! In fact, there seems to be more of such around than anything else! You see DVDs of films yet to be shown or currently showing at the cinemas being hawked. Familiar sights are 12 in 1; 8 in 1; 6 in 1 DVDs! Never saw a 12 in 1 DVD before! The irony of it is the visual and sound clarity; even the subtitles are grammatically right!

4. Ha! Confession time! Had 3 bottles of Malta Guiness on a chill-out-evening over a 3-hour period! Never had that much before in one day! Truly record breaking for me!

5. Money gets expended so easily in Naija and at times or even most times, you won't be able to put your finger on where the money has gone!

6. Did I mention to you that the 'bestest' porridge I've had so far has been from Muchies? Oh, yes, from Munchies; so much so that I'm always mad at them when I go for lunch and they are out of it! In the same light, one of the worst places for customer service is TFC! I tell you, its non-existent in most places here. The attendant can abuse you; even gate man sef fit abuse you if you no take care!

7. Day 82 - was able to sign to MSN from the office after 4months of trying and giving up! Oh, what things I took for granted in jand!

8. Observation: Most places where refuse is being dumped in Las Giddy is where signs are erected saying 'Strictly no dumping of refuse'! What an irony! Seems like the culprits enjoy defying authority! Well, its either that or they are not paying their 'Council tax'!

9. Picture this - what do you do when you are in motion and your driver says e wan piss? Obviously, you give him the chance to express himself. So, he gets down to piss and comes back to the car to continue driving with you knowing fully well that he hasn't washed his hands and you are next in line to get in the car to drive it when he's gone! Well, I chose to pass on the driving!

10. Twice this week, I was home at 6.45pm (left work at 5pm) on Monday and Friday - never happened since I came! The earliest I've ever been was at 6.30pm and then my household were worried that something must have gone wrong for me to get home that early! Took me three hours to get home for the remaining nights!

11. Day 84 - Picture this:

At 6.40am, witnessed another mass transit bus ablaze on the famous bridge! 'Twas completely engulfed!

At 2.30, was going to lunch and then for a customer meeting and inadvertently took a 1-way. Needless to say, we were caught and the traffic people razed to get the driver to stop! Because of his slowness however, the tyres were close to being punctured by the nail devices they had ready made. Luckily, the driver got his act together and stopped to prevent the nails from puncturing the tyres! Anyway, before I knew what was happening, one the wardens got in the car and started shouting blah, blah. He asked for the drivers licence. He asked if he was a first time offender and when he answered yes, he was told that he would take his licence details for registration at their office so that his details can be noted if he re-offends anywhere within the Island.

Before we got to their office, the driver tried a few times to persuade the guy to stop for us to 'negotiate' but it fell on deaf ears. Then I wondered if it was the driver who was going to pay the bribe or myself since he'd decided to become a negotiator! I offered my drivers licence details to be taken down and presented rather than the drivers details to prevent any punishment that may cost him his livelihood. Anyway, as soon as we got to their office, it was almost like some eye-contact had been made with the others. People swarmed round, whilst someone else took the car details down. We got down and before I knew what was happening, the guy that brought us had disappeared whilst someone handed me a fine. Before then however, I saw it coming that they will request for the car keys and knowing the drivers slowness (especially from the army experience 2 weeks ago), I had quickly taken it off him. Lo and behold they started demanding for the car keys. I said it was with me since I own the car and not the driver. They then threatened to puncture all the tyres. I told them I needed to go to the bank to get money for the fine! They said I should write a cheque for the driver to go and cash it. I said I wasn't doing that! I got angry and left to sit in the car. Then I called my manager to send me some money as I didnt have enough on me for the fine. Whilst waiting for the money to be delivered, some chaps came to me again wanting to make shakara blah, blah. As I explained to the calmer one that I was waiting for the fine money, he told the other one to calm down and they left. It turns out they had contemplated puncturing all the tyres throughout the time I was sat in the car. When I had the payment, I went and dumped it on their desk and walked off. They called back for me to wait for the receipt but I didn't budge or look back, so they got the driver to come for it.

As I sat pondering what had just happened, I was glad for two reasons - met an official who didn't want a bribe for the 1st time. I was at fault, so I had to pay the penalty - fair enough. Secondly, though the fine was high by Naija standards, I quickly remembered how high speeding or bus lane fines can be in jand! What I however didn't like was the warden's fib to get us to the station. He should have clearly stated that he was taking us in to be fined rather than saying the driver will only be cautioned. Las Giddy for you o!

I stilll went to have my porridge with the last change on me before heading for my meeting, as I was determined not to let the experience mar my day! You won't believe that by the time I was going past the route again, traffic was bi-directional!

At 5.35pm, as I sat in traffic on my way home, I just saw some grubby hands grab my window asking me to produce N5k or else. The guy had something tucked up on the inside of his pants that he pointed my attention to - didnt know whether it was a real or fake gun, knife or stick. In innocence and reality of my situation plus reflex, I yelled back that I didn't have N5k, since I had used all the money on me to pay the fine. As soon as I said this, I just quickly wound up the window (which was only slightly open). As I shouted to the driver to move the car, the guy left. I looked to see where he was going or if there was more of them or something; he continued to look at me as I stared back too until he disappeared. Then it dawned on me that that was an attempted robbery attack! Thank God for his mercies and faithfulness! Then I began to shake!

Meanwhile, during a conversation on Friday morning, it turned out that a lady I was offering a lift to work for the week, who hadn't show up on Thursday morning at the designated pick up spot had been robbed that morning on her way to meeting up with me. Everything on her was snatched by some Okada riders.

That was the summary of my Thursday - Day 84!

Have a splendid, fulfilling and terrific week. Keep holding on and never give up!

Week 18 coming up!

Always & Always,

Lola